<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Midnight rant cause Ion wanna do my essay by C_A_K_E</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27610360">Midnight rant cause Ion wanna do my essay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_A_K_E/pseuds/C_A_K_E'>C_A_K_E</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>None - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:20:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27610360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_A_K_E/pseuds/C_A_K_E</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>God I hope none of y’all actually read this</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>King/Yusef</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>King’s POV</p>
<p>"They say change is good every once in a while. They say it's better to start somewhere new and fresh rather than stay in one place your entire life," my mother says as I roll my eyes.</p>
<p>I obviously thought this was complete and utter bullshit coming out of her mouth on our drive to my first day of school. "It's ironic, isn't it?" I ask her more harshly than I meant to. "That you so happen to be saying this on the morning I start my new high school, because you decided to pack us up and move again." I knew her speech was only for self-purposes, trying to justify her actions. I've been to nearly 8 schools in the last 3 years. I'm so sick of starting over. God knows that's why I have trust issues with people.</p>
<p>"King , honey, I'm sorry. I really am. This is the last stop, I promise," she tells me as I look annoyed out the window. "You know how much my writing means to me and this move will affect it dramatically for the best. Just please bear with me." I nod and sigh in defeat. As much as I hate the fact of us moving constantly, I care about my mother more than she realizes. I think that's why I deal with her moving shit. Because as much as I hate it, it makes her craft better, which brings her joy. I just need to learn how to suck it up and get used to it.</p>
<p>I'm pulled away from my thoughts when the car suddenly hits a dramatic halt, which could only mean one possible thing. School. I cringe before I even catch sight of the school. "Come on. I need to make sure all your classes are sorted out before you can start," my mom says kindly, knowing the the topic of school will get me worked up. "Yeah," I respond back wearily.</p>
<p>As soon as we get out the car, I begin to take in everything around me to avoid engaging in conversation with my mother. A huge banner drapes down from the school saying, "Sunshine High." I immediately think this school is (A) poor, (B) perky as fuck, or (C) stupid as hell. Neither of those 3 options make me excited at all. Why exactly would you name a high school Sunshine High? The stupidity in people ceases to amaze me.</p>
<p>My mother and I make our way through the school to the principle office on the 1st floor towards the center of the hallway. I sat down outside the office as she went in to sort things out. I got a few dirty glances from students, but I quickly shook them off because, may I remind you, this isn't my first time being a new student. There were these 3 boys who stood out the most. They weren't dressed like everyone else, and they sure didn't act like it, seeing as my existence didn't even phase them when I walked by. They stood poised at their lockers, almost like soldiers. That is, 'till a brown headed boy wearing a plaid button up shirt, blue jeans, and uggs walked toward a brunette one saying, "Babyyy," and hugged him in a tight embrace. Once they released each other, their lips quickly pressed on one another's faces, making my skin crawl.</p>
<p>I know what you're thinking, that I'm a homophobic, which I am not. I support it 100 percent honest. I believe in people being who they want to be. But I've never actually seen anything like it in person. At this point, I was staring and hadn't really realized it 'till the brown headed boy came running toward me. He lifted me off my chair and pinned me against the wall so fast, I would've never guessed a guy wearing uggs could be so strong. He smelled like he took way too many breath mints and reeked like dollar store cologne.</p>
<p>"What the fuck are you looking at?" he yells in my face. "Nothing, you fucking Neanderthal!" I spit back. "Get the fuck off of me," I yell as I push him off me. "Why the hell were you staring at me kiss my boyfriend, then?" he questions, but I know for a fact he's mocking. "I didn't mean to," I say more hushed than I meant to while going back to my seat. And at that moment, my mother decided to come out, thank the Lord Jesus Christ.</p>
<p>As soon as they caught sight of my mother, all four of them turned mumbling to themselves. I couldn't make out much, but all I could hear was the brown-headed one say to Yusef, "He's so gay that his boner was so visible when I lifted him against the wall." The three guys hysterically break into laughs and continue walking the opposite direction.</p>
<p>Before I get up to stand beside my mother, I look down at my pants and realize what he said was true. There was a full visible bulge down in the center of my pants. Just fucking great, I thought to myself.</p>
<p>As I stand awkwardly trying to cover myself up next to my mother, the principle decided to introduce himself. "Good morning. My name's Mr. Radcliffe and I'll be your principle for the remainder of the school year. I hope you find a liking to our school and the high advanced honor classes you're taking." He leads us down the hall to a classroom while continuing, "Our teachers are some of the best in the district. Everyone here is determined to make each student successful no matter how that may be." As soon as he said that, I thought to myself, "Yeah, for the girls to become successful strippers, and the boys to be pathetic drug addicts." I snicker a little too loud than I was supposed to, and my mother swats at my arm and shoots me a dangerous warning look. I immediately look to the ground and keep quiet. "Ah, here we are," Mr. Radcliffe continues. "Honors Math. I hope you enjoy your day and the remainder of your school year here." I assume he introduced the class as "Honors Math" because he didn't know the actual name of the course. Stupid ass. He sends us my mother and I a warming smile before leaving.</p>
<p>I look up to my mother when I realize Mr. Radcliffe is gone. A worried expression comes upon her face. I know exactly what's coming next. "Mom, don't cry," I sigh as I pull her into a hug. "I've been to schools before this. This isn't any different. I'll be fine and I'll see you in a couple of hours," I add. "I know. It's just that this is your last year, and I can't help but think of how much you've grown up since your father left." She almost cries into my shoulder. "Mom, relax. I'll see you later," I say and squeeze her tightly. "Now leave before I get written off as the mama boy of the school," I laugh jokingly. She smiles and pulls me in one more time for a tight embrace. She then leaves, always looking back every few feet. Ugh mothers, I groan.</p>
<p>As soon as she turns the corner, I walk into the classroom only to see myself hating life because as soon as I walk in, there stands the 4 boys from the hallway. Great. Just fucking great, I think to myself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2???</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I approach the the front of the classroom with great caution. I can feel the four boys from the hallway's eyes on me like laser beams. I don't even know why they're staring, honestly. Like, they aren't fucking perfect either. One of them has blue hair, for crying out loud! Blue fucking hair. But yet they're staring at me? Teenagers never make sense.</p><p>I came toward the teacher's desk and handed him a sheet of a paper with my transcripts on it. He nods, almost pleased with me. He gets up and says, "Class, this is King Areola (ion fuckin know) He's a new student here at Sunshine High-" "No shit he's a new student," the brown headed boy interrupts. The teacher rolls his eyes and completely ignored the brown headed one's comment like it was never even said. "And he deserves to be treated with respect seeing it's his first impression of us," the teacher continues while looking directly at the brown head. "And Tyler, I hope you keep all your shitty sarcastic side comments to yourself, or I'll have you in a years worth of detention in a second," he said coldy. </p><p>I liked this teacher; it's the way he treated his students and came about himself. Or maybe it's the way he fucking told off the guy I hate the most in this school already and it hasn't even been a full hour. Yup, more like the second reason why I like him. What kind of name is Tyler anyway, really? That's one of the most common names ever. Figures, the brown head seems common. </p><p>The teacher then said, "My name is Mr. Rodriguez, but you can call me Mr. R." I then sent him a reassuring smile, while he motioned me to an empty seat. There was only one empty seat in the entire class and it was right next to Yusef. Just my luck, I thought rudely to myself. I'm actually really surprised there's an empty seat next to Him, You would think his boyfriend would be sitting next to him. I didn't think too much into it because that's when the first period bell rang, beginning the class. </p><p>I hardly paid attention, honestly. The whole time I kept watching Yusef, and I caught him watching me a couple times. It was just in the middle of class, while Mr. R was going over what he expects from us during the year, when He turned toward me whispering. "Hey, I'm Yusef," he says. He can't be serious, I think to myself. I was set on ignoring him all together seeing that his stupid boyfriend fucking attacked me. But I found myself battling my head and my mouth. My mouth won the battle and spoke. "I'm King..." I replied a little shakily. "I'm sorry what Tyler did to you this morning. He can be annoying at times," he said sending a small smile. "It's fine. I'm used to idiots like him thinking they can scare everyone," I laugh way too confidently. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out, "Are you really dating him?" Yusef puts his gaze on Tyler and I sink down in my chair. I'm such a fucking idiot. Why did I ask that? It's not like I even care. I have a girlfriend, an amazing girlfriend, so I don't need to befriend this shit head. </p><p>"No, we aren't," Yusef says harshly. "We just fuck around. He has, what would you say, issues. He's way too clingy and needy to be my boyfriend." When the words escaped his mouth, his harsh expression lightens into a half smile, but Tyler turns, looking hurt. I'm guessing he heard, and I feel really bad now, yet happy at the same time. </p><p>The next few seconds are unpredictable. Tyler gets up, walking toward me, and pushes me out my seat. Great. Just what I need right now! If I get into a fight on my first day of school, my mother will lose it. </p><p>"Listen, you fucking stupid piece of shit!" Tyler yells in my face. "What, darling?" I question, clearly trying to get a rise out of him. "You gay son of a bitch, stay the fuck away from Yusef or else I'll pound your face in cement!" I thought to myself for a second, this kid must be really stupid. He absolutely makes no sense. How the fuck is he in Honors Math? "Say it, don't spray it," I snap back, pushing him off me and getting on my feet. "For starters, I'm not fucking gay, you cock sucker, and 2nd of all, your fucking 'boyfriend' just said you weren't even dating, so don't take your anger out on me. Talk to him about it!" I practically shouted, and I sat back in my seat calmy. People must think I'm crazy. </p><p>Luke sits back in his chair and says harshly, "He's right, Tyler. You aren't my boyfriend; you know that. WTF is your problem? What did you attack him for?" There was no type of emotion in his voice. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I've never had this much attention, ever. The thought of the whole class staring at me makes my stomach turn. </p><p>Tyler seemed hurt by Yusef’s words, and stormed out of class. Mr. R then lets out a laugh. "Ah, even the gays have their normal high school drama." The whole class, even Yusef laughs. </p><p>Yusef is one of those popular gay kids, the ones who can be out completely without a problem, and still have girls obsess over them. Typical. </p><p>After hours of what seemed like nonsense in each and every class I had today, it's finally lunch time. I avoid the cafeteria completely. I'm not in the mood for any conflict, and I've been through enough to last me a decade. I opened my locker and set all my stuff there. I only have one more class and it's Music, so that should be a breeze. </p><p>As I'm packing up for music and to go home after, I see blue hair from a mile away. Moments later, I'm then greeted by a blue headed kid. "Hey, I'm Michael, fag," he says, presenting his hand for me to shake it. I roll my eyes at him and bring my attention back to my locker. He lets out a laugh, realizing what he said had affected me. "I don't know why you're such a wuss. We all know you're gay; you had a boner this morning while watching Tyler and Yusef kiss. Then, you made Yusef admit he didn't give a fuck about Tyler. That's pretty fucked up and deep," he says. "I didn't make him say anything. I didn't have a boner this morning; maybe you should get your eyes checked," I protest, trying to defend myself. "Yeah, sure," he mutters. "If you know what's good for you, you won't fuck with Yusef. You saw how harsh he was to Tyler today. You seem like a nice kid, and whatever Yusef touches, he fucks up. He could easily fuck your life up," he says, almost caring, and leaves me completely alone in the hallway to my thoughts. </p><p>He could fuck up my whole life? How? I had no idea but I knew one thing for sure. These boys in this damn school curse way too much for an average teenager.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I never realized how big the school really was until I had to look for the music room on my own. On the long walk there, it seemed like I was walking a marathon. I stumbled across Tyler. He was sitting in a corner, farthest down the hall to himself. When I reached the end, I saw his sad expression. It looked as if he were crying for hours. I then sat down right next to him. He looked at me disgusted, and I already knew what he was thinking so I answered his thoughts for him "I'm sorry for whatever you think I did," I muttered apologetically. He rolled his eyes at me and said, "It's your first day here and you manage to have my boyfriend confirm that I mean shit to him. I wouldn't categorized that as 'nothing'." I sighed. I didn't want to fight with him, and he'd been through enough today. I sat there in shock; I can't believe I'm feelings sympathy for this kid, who by the way, I can't fucking stand. "Yusef likes you. I can tell by the way he was looking at you in class this morning. You're his next prey I believe; just be careful." I twist my head and shoot him a confused glare, clearly surprised by his words. "I'm straight. He won't affect me in anyway," I said trying to convince myself. I'm really fucking tired of everyone warning me about this Yusef guy when I don't even like him, or guys for that matter. "That's never stopped him before," Tyler lets out almost like a whisper. "WHAT?" I fucking shouted. "Relax! Calm down. I'm just saying I was straight too, until Yusef. He has this weird affect on people, especially guys for that matter," he stated, trying not to offend me. Please, you were probably gay already walking around in women uggs, I thought to myself and chuckled. He sent me a confused look and I took that as my cue to leave. "Bye," I muttered, not looking back to see whether he was following me or not.</p>
<p>By the time I actually found music class, there was only 10 minutes of class left. And just my luck, the only seat empty was by Yusef. God has been so great today; I wonder what the fuck I did to deserve such high shitty honors, I think sarcastically to myself while taking the empty seat next to Yusef. I glanced at him a couple times within the 10 minutes and just analyzed how he is. He doesn't seem like your typical gay, but nowadays, who does look like a typical gay? Movies are always stereotypical on these type of subjects. But something came across Him; the way he presented himself didn't scream interested in guys at all. I would've thought he was a player, hooking up with girls and leaving them the next day. Turns out he is like that, but only with guys. Not shocking at all.</p>
<p>He looked straight at me and my eyes quickly looked away and I felt my cheeks flush. I was so embarrassed; he probably thought I was creep for staring at him. When I look back, peeking to see his reaction, he's grinning with his hands folded, looking forward. I sink into the back of my chair. Minutes later, the school bell rings, and finally, my first day of this dysfunctional high school is over.</p>
<p>I immediately run out of the classroom, only to get pushed into a set of lockers harder then I imagine. I fall to the ground and groan in pain. I suddenly feel kicking in my stomach. What the fuck is going on, I think to myself as I try to gain vision and see what is causing my pain. I look up and it's a blue headed boy, a brown head boy, and a slight blond. Tyler, Michael, and Lyla (ion know just go with it). I groan on my side, feeling nothing but pain. "Maybe that'll keep him from being a cock sucker," Tyler said, his anger loud and clear. Michael then turns and says, "Ugly fag," and everyone in the hall bursts out laughing in unison.</p>
<p>I can't feel my rib cage at all. I slowly began to get up, only to get kicked backed down by Lyla . My vision is still hazy but I manage to see a shocked and disgusted Yusef coming in front of me. When his friends catch sight of him, his facial expressions completely turns from disgusted to amused within a blink of an eye. Everyone still laughing in the background, Yusef spits at me, "You're pathetic. Tyler told me what you told him." My face was completely shocked as I quickly start thinking. I never told him anything, well nothing concerning Yusef! He lied. He must've lied to Ashton and Michael as well. That shit head! My anger is boiling, and it got to the point where my anger overpowered my weak and painful body. Within seconds, I jumped and punched Tyler straight in the face, knocking him down to the ground and leaving him squirming. I pick up my bag and walk out of school. "You're all pathetic," I spit to everyone, while leaving. What a first day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yo Haley gunna ducking kill me</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hehe....Haley</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As I walked out of school, I still heard bits of laughter. And as much as I told myself, don't look back, don't look back, my dumb ass did exactly that; I looked back. When I did, I glared directly at Yusef who was surprisingly trying to send me a sympathetic smile, but there was something behind it, an emotion that I have yet to discover from him. Maybe care? His facial expression quickly changed when Ashton (Lyla don’t fit the bully build so now it’s Ashton) looks at him and stares back at me. And in that moment, I turned and bolted out of school.</p><p>I walk to the parking lot only then to realize my mother drove me. I'm beyond pissed the fuck off and the last thing I wanna go do is go home and plaster a fake ass smile across my face for my mom's benefit. I refuse to do that, so I walked out of the school parking lot and walked around leaving myself prisoner to my own thoughts. It's mind killing, really. Thirty minutes into replaying the whole situation with the guys in my head, I decide to call my girlfriend. Maybe she'll lighten my mood.</p><p>"Babe!" she practically yells through the phone when she picks it up. "I miss you."</p><p>I huffed in response. She knows I can't stand the word "babe." Who the fuck even made that a part of the English speaking language, anyway? I'll tell you who; morons. "I miss you too," I manage to get out without showing my annoyance. "What's wrong?" she asks instantly after my response. This is one of my favorite things about her, her ability to know when something's wrong. It shows that she cares enough to see a change in attitude even when I try to hide it.</p><p>"Nothing. I just got into a fight in school," I say back. "Why?" she demands. "Because guys were being dick heads. Why else?" I spit back. "Well you can be pretty intimidating, you know. Maybe they got a rude vibe from you or something," she says calmly. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I practically yell. The only lady walking besides myself walks faster up the road. "I am not intimidating at all. I'm quite a lovely person if I do say so myself," I say kindly. As much as her comment got to me, I don't want to start a fight with her. I miss her way to much.</p><p>I keep walking ahead for a while, till I suddenly realize it's 7:30 at night and I need to get back home. Haley  and I have been talking the whole time, catching up. She discussed how she got accepted into a new photography school in California, and her plans to move up there in a week's time, and how she's hoping for me to go up there soon with her. Highly doubtful. I mean I would love to be in California with her, but that place holds way to many bad memorize for me to relive and remember.</p><p>Now that I'm thinking about it, I've realized Haley  and I have been together for a little over a year now, on and off actually. She always tends to not put up with my shit and leave for a couple days and comes crawling back. But in that time period, I have never said I loved her, not because I don't, well mainly because I don't feel in love with her. I just care for her as a friend. A lot. She's never mentioned anything about me not saying it, but she says it to me every once in a while. Thinking about it now, that must really make me look like an asshole. I'm just not the type to say what isn't true, I guess.</p><p>As I'm walking home in the complete darkness, I slowly began to hear really loud footsteps behind me. I speed my walk to try and get away from whomever is making the sound, only to hear the steps louder and faster, touching the ground rapidly. At this point, I'm running for my life in the dark until a figure puts its arms around my waist and spins me to face them. Me being me, and doing the only thing I know how to do right for my own safety, begins to raise my arm and aims a punch directly to the face only to be stopped seconds away from contact. I stood frozen.</p><p>"Wtf is your problem?" a familiar voice shrieks as they release my wrist. "Yusef?" I question laughing at the possibility it may even truly be him. "Yes, it's me you asshole. Why the fuck were you trying to punch me?" he questions, almost sounding hurt. "I thought you were a creep or some shit," I say. "Oh," he says calmly bringing a small smile to his face. I look down to realize his hands are still on my waist. Immediately, I feel my cheeks heating. He looks down, laughs, and looks back up at me. "Are you blushing?" he asks with a big cheesy grin on his face.</p><p>"No," I try to state confidently, but it backfires and end up coming out as a squeal. He laughs and then tightens his grip. "You like it," he teases. "No I don't," I state more calmly even though I'm currently going frantic inside. I don't quite understand why, but my emotions are acting really weird. All of the sudden, I feel so shy and nervous, which is hardly ever. I then move his hands from my waist and he frowns at the lack of connection between us.</p><p>"What's wrong?" he ask me as I sit down on the grass. "Oh I don't know. Maybe it could possibly be that I got shoved up against a wall today, thrown out of my own desk, and thrown against lockers and kicked in the stomach several times. But you know, other than that, my life is peachy," I spit back remembering exactly what happened today. "Oh, and maybe there's something about me being gay going around school and spreading like wildfire, and me being quote on quote pathetic because of whatever the fuck Tyler told you," I said harshly. "Oh and whatever the fuck Tyler told you is an absolute lie because I never mentioned you at all to him. I tried to apologize for whatever he may have thought I did because he was being an emotional little girl today before music, which is why I was late."</p><p>Instead of responding, he sits right down next to me. "Tyler told me and the boys through text message that you wanted to fuck. That you would do anything to be in my pants and for me to be in you. How you wanted me and had devised this whole plan. He said you told him yourself and that you didn't give a fuck about his feelings at all. What he said completely caught me by surprise, actually. Tyler is officially an asshole in my book." he states way calmer then I expected him to. "Well, Tyler is a lying little shit," I instantly say back.</p><p>We just sat there in silence at the end of the side of the road in utter darkness, looking up at the stars in the sky. In a way, it was peaceful. "So, you don't wanna fuck me?" Yusef says after what feels like hours of silence. "No, I don't. I'm straight," (hahahahahaha....no he ain’t) I defend. "Yeah, sure you are," he says. I instantly stand up in rage and completely lose it. "I am fucking straight so don't you dare tell me what I am, because you don't even know me! You've known me for, what? A couple hours? And you were just calling me pathetic hours ago with your friends kicking the living shit out of me!" I throw my hands in the air in rage.</p><p>That's when he does the unpredictable. He stands to his feet and comes close to me. He pulls me to his chest and I try to say, "Don't," and try to push away, but it comes out as a whisper and he replies with, "Shh, you'll like it." We're so close right now that I can smell the cologne on him; it smells extravagant. Without thinking, I put my hands on his waist and he slowly brings his hand down, teasing me. It sends me chills all throughout my body and I feel my stomach tighten. He goes down and grabs my length, and grips hard squeezing. I moan and without letting things go further, I push away. "Wtf was that?" I yell. "You liked it," he says proudly.</p><p>"No I didn't. It felt odd," I replied and walked away, looking at the time. It was now 9 and I needed to get home before my mother had a fit. Yusef quickly caught up to me and is now walking beside me. He looks like he's thinking about something. "I'm going home," I answer his thoughts. "You didn't like it?" he says hushed, sounding almost sad or disappointed. I can't really tell. "No I didn't. I'm straight for the millionth time," I said proudly. "But you moaned!" he spat clearly proud of himself and immediately his emotion changed from sadness to cockiness. "You caught me by surprise. That's all."</p><p>"Mhmm. Sure I did," he said, grinning.</p><p>We walked to my house in utter silence. I was surprised he decided to walk me home, but not amused. I did not like his little touch and grab game he was playing with me. I refuse to be his little toy. I admit I liked it a little bit, but in a weird way that I don't think is normal at all. But, that is the least of my worries right now.</p><p>Yusef and I get to the front door and I say, "This is my stop," and he leans in closer to me and brings himself up to my ear and whispers, "Goodnight, babe." I fucking cringe at his words. I lift my hand to slap him and it's stopped again by his arm. "You know you love it; don't try to fight it and would you quit trying to hit me? I'm not that much of an asshole," he says while laughing. "Mhmm, sure you aren't," I say, letting out a laugh. He turns to leave, and says, "Bye, babe," getting ready to turn the corner that is now hiding him from my sight.</p><p>I open my door and go inside to find an angry mother sitting on the stairs, not looking to happy. God, I'm fucking in for a load of shit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>???</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, KING???? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN? GOD, I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?" she yells, tears running down her face.</p><p>I shrug. She yells, "IT'S 11:30PM ON A FUCKING SCHOOL NIGHT, KING, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO CALL ME!" She lets out with a sob.</p><p>"MOM, FUCKING RELAX! I DID NOTHING WRONG! I WENT FOR A WALK TO GET A FEW THINGS OFF MY MIND," I yell with a harsh tone. "Come here," I say as I motion her to me. She hugs me in a tight embrace. "I just worry about you. You never react well to moving, and you always shut me out and disappear from the house for hours and hours. I want this time to be different. I want this move to be the change you need, King. California did no good for the both of us, and I just don't want you hanging on to bad habits; I worry." she says calmly while she still sobs.</p><p>I can't even be mad at her. I understand where she's coming from completely. I haven't been the best kid since my father left. California was one of the worst moves. That's when I began to lash out against my mother; there were just days I wanted to be left alone. I blamed her for my father leaving, and I blamed myself, when in the end it was his choice to leave. That fucking prick. California began a time where I literally wouldn't give a fuck about anything or anyone including Haley and my mom. I hung out with the wrong kids, never came home, and ended up in different trouble within hours. It was a stupid cycle, but in a way, I'm glad we moved. </p><p>I stood there holding my mom, assuring her that I wasn't gonna repeat my immature behavior, and that this time was gonna be different. Honestly, I was trying to convince myself more than her. She soon pulled away and said, "This move is gonna be good for us. I can feel it." I gave her a small smile, hoping she wouldn't mention school since that was a major issue. Before she could, I brought up the topic of unpacking.</p><p>"There are boxes everywhere. Did you get any packing done?" I said jokingly. "Oh god no, of course not. I went sight seeing! Do you not know how beautiful Amsterdam is? (Just roll with it) I spent the whole day exploring, and I now have the perfect setting for my book. This one's gonna be great; I can feel it." She says like a child. "We'll unpack tomorrow," she answers the thoughts in my head while laughing.</p><p>I shake my head, heading toward the front door. I seem to have forgotten to close the door on my way in, but before it's fully closed, a foot stops it and slams it wide open, almost hitting me in the face, and making a loud noise while hitting boxes that are now on their sides. I lift the boxes up,and then bring my attention to the door.</p><p>My mouth drops, as I stand in front of my door frozen. There stood a cocky looking Yusef [wtf is this dudes last name???] with a wicked grin plastered on his face. And in that moment before I can fully develop words to speak, my mom comes toward the door looking just as confused and shocked as I do.</p><p>"Who's this, King?" My mother questions. Before I can even try to respond, Yusef answers for me. "Hello Mrs. Arreola. I'm Kings's friend from school! He left without his phone today and I came to return it," he states.</p><p>"Aww, that's so nice of you, Yusef. Well I'll leave you two to it then. I'm quite tired, and it's been an eventful night. Good night Yusef! It was nice meeting you," She says while reaching to shake his hand. She kisses me on the cheek and heads up the stairs to her room.</p><p>Yusef waits till he hears her room door close to speak to me. "Hey Babe," he says grinning. "Ugh, don't fucking call me that! I'm nothing to you. We aren't even friends," I state with no emotion. "How'd you even get my phone?" I question angrily.</p><p>"Well, if you must know, back in the park when we had that quite interesting touch of contact between us, and you let out that sweet moan, I took it out of your butt pocket," He says seductively. "Give me my phone, you prick," I demand. "Sure, babe. Your mom seems really nice; I wonder what happened to you," he says rudely. "I'm nice," I defend myself. "Mhm, yeah. Sure you are!" he laughs.</p><p>I don't understand him at all. One minute he's laughing at me in front of his friends and being cruel as fuck, and the next he's being decent with me while trying to seduce me. He's beyond complicated. I begin to drift away in my thoughts before he snaps me out of them.</p><p>"Whatcha thinking about?" He asks "Nothing," I scuff. "You sure you weren't checking me out in your mind? You wouldn't be the first one, or are you just thinking about me?" He asks while smiling. "I don't understand you," I blurt out with out thinking. "No one does," he says emotionless, "and I prefer it that way." He then comes close to me, making me flinch away, and causing him to push me closer to him. "Why?" I question while Luke slides my cell phone in my butt pockets and pats down. Then, he brings his mouth to my ear. "It keeps people wondering," He simply states, "and the mind can have people wondering crazy things." With that, he leaves closing the door behind him.</p><p>I slump down behind it while locking it. I look at the time to see it's now midnight, and I have school tomorrow. Great. Well it's not like I haven't gone to bed later. I walk slowly to my room, turning off all the lights in the hall. I throw myself onto the mattress and quickly drift off to sleep, thinking it's going to be a crazy remaining year.</p><p>*Next Morning*</p><p>"KING WAKE UP! YOU HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!" I hear my mom yelling from the kitchen.</p><p>I roll around in bed before getting up and crawling to the shower. I dread mornings so much. Quickly, I hop into the shower, come out and throw on some black sweats, a blue nirvana tee, and black vans. (Jusy roll with it)I'm going for a bum look despite the fact it's Friday. I style my hair, and I'm heading out my room with my phone in hand and book bag on my shoulder. Before heading out, I stop at the kitchen and sneak 3 pieces of my mother's bacon and make a run for it before she can accuse me of anything. But sadly, as I close the door, I hear her yelling, "KING!" I choose to ignore it and shut the door.</p><p>When I stepped outside, the sun burned my skin. God, it was shining really bright this morning. I groaned in pain at the sight of the sun; I didn't know it would cause me so much pain. I already knew today wasn't going to be a good day.</p><p>The walk to school seemed endless, but sadly it wasn't. Approaching school was horrible. I got dirty looks from everyone, a few snickers here and there, but it was nothing I wasn't used to. I made my way into the school, and to my locker. I had to pass that stupid Sunshine High sign and literally wanted to throw something at it. This school is so childish.</p><p>I made my way to my locker on the 2nd floor. A few more snickers and dirty looks came toward me on my way there. As I turned the corner, I saw a group of people standing near the end of the hall where my locker was. To my surprise, I saw a blue headed boy and a brunette standing next to my locker, just waiting. Michael and Yusef. Great. My stomach began to churn as I advanced toward them, preparing myself for any abuse they had prepared for me on this fine morning. Well, today is starting off great.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Haha...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I slowly walked up to my locker. The thought came to me to ignore my locker completely and head straight to math class, but I had to get my books, especially because I had chemistry right after and that's on the other side of the building. I hadn't planned on coming back to my locker till English, so I had to face what was gonna happen. It was now or never, I thought to myself as I opened my locker.</p><p>To my surprise, Yusef and Michael ignored me. It was shocking really, I grabbed some books out my bag and placed them on the top shelf of my locker as I took two out. I just stood there still fiddling with my math work getting prepared for class. Michael and Yusef were absorbed in conversation about some party Yusef  was throwing at his house. Michael described the party as "party of the year." It made no fucking sense to me seeing that it hasn't even happened yet, like what if no one shows up. Would it still be considered party of the year? But knowing Michael and Yusef, the two most popular kids in the school, I bet everyone was dying for an invite.</p><p>I sorta stood there in front of my locker listening, forgetting to move to look like I was occupied. Michael snapped his head up at the realization and slammed my locker shut causing my notes to fall to the ground. Great, I'm such a idiot. "Why the fuck where you eavesdropping, fag?" he yells causing his blue hair to stand up. Without thinking, obviously because I hardly ever think anymore, I start laughing. If you would have seen how angry this smurf was, you would've been on the floor dying, too.</p><p>I shook him off, completely refusing to give him satisfaction of getting a rise out of me. I think that was the wrong thing to do because it just made him angrier, which caused me to laugh more. "What is so funny? Please enlighten me! I wanna laugh too!" I'm actually too shocked he used the word enlighten properly to answer him. "You're not coming to the party! You'd be the last person we'd invite, you prick." He says before turning and leaving for class.</p><p>Yusef just stood there, quietly examining everything that was going on. I bent down to pick up all my stuff on the floor, and when I came back up I met Yusef’s hands holding some of my notes he picked up for me. He blushed at the sudden touch between us, making me grin. He smiled almost a sympathetic smile for Michael's actions, but that was before Michael was almost half way down the hallway turned on his heel, and yelling, “YUSEF, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Yusef looked taken aback by what Michael was saying and probably had just observed from a far. He screamed back, "Nothing," while dropping all the notes in his hands and slapping my hand down causing all the notes to fall from my hands as well. "Just watching this prick pick up his notes. He looks pathetic, really," He said emotionless.</p><p>I went down to pick them up as he was walking towards Michael, but before Yusef fully left, he kicked me in the stomach, causing me to fall completely on the floor on my side in pain. By doing so, he earned an approving laugh from Michael. They soon left that hall, side by side, leaving me there with nothing but pain and my confused thoughts. I knew this day wasn't gonna be good.</p><p>Why is Yusef such a prick? Why is he such a fucked up, multiple personality-filled fucker? All these thoughts and more came to my head as I finally decide to walk to math. The walk wasn't really that long, but it just felt like it could drag on forever mainly because as I walked, boy after boy after boy approached me calling me "fag." I cringed at the word; there was even one boy that tried to hit on me and give me his number. It was awkward and really weird to be honest. I don't even understand how me being gay spread around the school so fast, when I'm not even gay. I need Haley, I mean I miss her so much, and she's literally one of the only people that'll get me through this because she's one of the few sane people I know. I walk into math class, absorbed in my thoughts. As soon as I walk in, the bell rings and everyone files into their seats, leaving me with only one seat and that seat so happened to be right next to Yusef again. Great.</p><p>I plopped down into the desk, completely hating life, probably looking like a self-loathing teenager. Which I completely am right now. It's at least 40 minutes into class when Yusef decides to slip a note on my desk. I read it and shook my head in disbelief. He can't be fucking serious.</p><p>"Are you mad at me?" The note read. Of course I'm fucking mad at you, you dam idiot, I mouthed to him. I was infuriated with him. I had so much anger inside of me, and my body couldn't handle it. The next thing I know, I'm getting up out of my desk and storming out of class. Fuck this school, fuck the kids, the teachers, honors math, and especially Yusef. Fuck Yusef.</p><p>As I reached the door leading outside of the school, I heard foot steps from behind me but didn't bother to turn around to see who it was. I felt a hand pull me into a corner and pin me to a wall. Their breathing was hot on my neck as I looked up to see who it was. Yusef Brown. "What do you want?" I spat at him while pushing him off.</p><p>"Come with me." He simply says while pushing me out of the school. I try to get out of his grip, but slowly after stopping, because trying is tiring me out. He's actually really strong for a small guy. He then puts me in his car's passenger seat and slams the door behind me.</p><p>I know I should bolt, but something is keeping me in this seat and I don't know what, but I decide to stay. He eventually gets in the car and starts it. "Where are we going?" I ask shyly. Oh god, why the fuck did I say it so weak? He smiles at me and simply says, "That's for me to know, and you to find out when we get there." "So, we're skipping?" I ask. "Yeah, I wasn't gonna let you skip alone."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I lean my head against the window staring out at the beautiful scenery. Out of all places to move to, my mother wanted to move to Amsterdam, and I think it finally hit me why. It's beautiful here; everything around looks like it came straight out of an art gallery. I stare in amazement, glancing at Yusef every few seconds. He was oddly quiet, which is quite weird coming from Yusef, especially around me. He always has some smart ass comment to say around me because he thinks it makes him charming.</p><p>I glanced over at him, and saw his eyes focused on the road, he's mouth pulling into a grin. "Like what you see?" he questions, overly confident. "No," I spit. "Ouch, that hurts," he places a hand on his chest playfully as if I wounded him. "You know you do, King. Why are you lying?" he smirks. I roll my eyes and look back at the window and pull out my phone to text Haley.</p><p>"Hey babe" I send. After a few minutes, I get response "Hi, I miss you King. xx :("</p><p>"Who are you texting?" Yusef questions. "My girlfriend," I respond back nonchalantly. He then grabs my phone and throws it in the back seat far from my reach. "Why'd you do that?" I shout. "Because you're with me right now, not her," he says coldly, showing no emotion and making it hard for me to read him. I see his hands on the steering wheel tighten and I completely decide to drop the subject.</p><p>After moments of silence and endless driving, I began to question where we're going because instead of seeing beautiful trees and houses, I see nothing but sand outside beside the road. Sand? What the fuck? With a mixture of rocks?</p><p>"Yusef, where are we going?" I ask, a little paranoid. "Relax," he says reassuringly, "We're almost there." "Where?" I demand. "You'll find out when we get there. God, King, you're such a handful." I sighed in defeat and looked back to the window not wanting to further argue.</p><p>I began to think to myself, who the fuck does this guy think he is, taking me hostage with him to God knows where. But then again, I could've bolted but didn't, my subconscious adds. I don't even know why I didn't leave. Something just kept me there, almost like a feeling to stay. I don't know, it was really odd, but I stayed. Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with someone I barely know.</p><p>"We're here," Yusef says snapping me out of my confusing thoughts and putting the car in park. He runs out the car slamming the door behind him. Meanwhile, I try to get out but my doors locked. I send him a confused look through the window as he runs to my side of the car and opens the door. "I could've opened the door myself, you know," I state. "Yeah, but I wanted to do it," he replies back shyly looking at the ground. I don't get this kid at all, I mean he's so confusing.</p><p>"C'mon," he says. I follow close behind him. We walk through a path of round shiny stones. It's so beautiful, and the air smells like mint. Well, maybe not mint exactly, but that's how I would compare it. "Where are we going Yusef?" I say annoyed because he's been so secretive this whole time. "We're almost there, just wait," he says calmy, obliviously trying to hide how annoyed he is with me constantly asking.</p><p>When we get to the end of the path, Yusef grabs my hand and pulls me through a tunnel surrounded by shiny sparking stones. I stare up everywhere in awe. It's so beautiful in here. "This isn't the best part," Yusef says, answering my thoughts while pushing me further into the tunnel. The rocks began to get shinier and smoother, and I began to hear faint sounds of falling water, but it's growing louder and louder the farther we walk in.</p><p>Finally, we turn down a rock path and into what seems like the middle of the tunnel. There's sand on the ground with scattered stones, and a beautiful water fall flowing down into a pit covered with rocks. The place looked mesmerizing. I let go of Yusef’s hand realizing we've been connected the entire time and step forward to get a better look of my surroundings. "It's absolutely breathtaking," I say without thinking. Yusef chuckles and begins to walk toward my side and sits down on the sand, patting the ground signaling me to sit down.</p><p>"I come here to think whenever things aren't going right. It usually plays as a safe haven in my life," Yusef says so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. I look at him, seeing how fragile he seems. I've never seen him this vulnerable before. "Why'd you bring me here then?" I asked confused. "I don't know, I thought you'd like it, and by the looks of your face, you do," he smiles brightly at me. "Yeah, it amazing here," I say. "Wanna go in...?" I say, trailing off pointing toward the pit of the waterfall. "Sure," he says.</p><p>He begins to strip, and he slowly removes his shirt and smirks at me when it's finally off. "Like what you see?" He asked winking. Fuck, I mentally curse at myself for staring when I didn't meant to. "No," I say looking back at the pit. He quickly removes his pants and says, "C'mon we don't have all day." I nod, and go to lift my shirt off my body, but me being the stupid kid I am, I struggle with the head hole. "Here, let me help you," Yusef says sympathetically. His hands trails up my my chest sending a shiver down my spine. I breath heavily, not knowing how to react to the feeling of his touch. He pulls the shirt off me and says "There. Let's go." I quickly pull my pants off and we both walk towards the pit.</p><p>I sit down at the end of the water putting my feet in and quickly regret it, so I pull my feet out. The water is freezing. Yusef lets out a laugh, and I just scold him, causing him to laugh more. "This isn't funny, Yusef. It's cold as fuck," I say while standing. "Stop being such a ba-" I stop him before he can finish his sentence by pushing him in the water and breaking out into a hysterical laughter.</p><p>I watch him go under the water and come back up, brushing he's hair back. "You asshole!" He yells from inside the water pit. Meanwhile, I'm still dying. "Oh, you're not getting away with this," he says while rushing out of the pit and running toward me. I run for my life but there's hardly any room to run. Yusef held me from the back and our bodies are completely touching and sending me shivers again. I let out a heavy breath I wasn't realizing I was holding in at the contact of his touch. "You're not getting away that easy," he whispers in my ear. I bit my lip, and he suddenly throws me into the pit while jumping in right after.</p><p>I quickly come back up from under the water. Shit, this is cold. Yusef is standing in front of me way too close for my liking, but I stare into his eyes, while he stared into mine while laughing. "God, it's cold in here," I began to say. "Next time, you shouldn't push me in without warning," he says. "Please! You deserved it; you were just standing there by the water, so you were practically asking for it," I fight back. "Oh yeah?" He questions while splashing water at my face. "Yeah!" I retort, while running away in the pit splashing him back creating distance between us. Laughter fills the entire tunnel while we just stand there splashing each other like children. I'm running away splashing until I feel something come up from in back of me and twirl me around to face it. Yusef. How the hell did he get there? I began to ask myself. We're so close that our bodies are touching. He lifts his hand and removes the hair from my eyes and leaves his hand there, fondling my cheek. I began to lean in, and I see he finally catches on and begins to lean too, but I come to a realization of what I'm about to do, and snap back to reality, splashing water to make it less awkward. It's is probably impossible seeing that I was just about to kiss him. What the fuck? I see a slight grin on Yusef’s face and began to swim back to the stones.</p><p>I lift myself out and sit at the edge, Yusef then joining me. Silence fills the room, and the tension between us is so thick. I don't understand how he acts like two different people; one when he's alone with me and another when he's with his friends. It's stupid honestly, and I don't get it at all. I open my mouth to began to question him but he beats me to speaking. "Wanna come to my party tonight?" He asks uncertain and shy. "I thought I would never get invited?" I spit back suddenly realizing why I was so pissed and angry with him, remembering what led me to skip school. Anger quickly fills me. "I want you there," he trails off. "Well, you obviously don't want me there, when you friends are around!" I say angry back. I don't even think I made sense but oh well.</p><p>We both fell quiet again, and I look at him, and immediately regretting it because I can see the hurt in his eyes from my comment. "I didn't agree with Michael at school today," he says so low almost in a whisper. "Well, you acted like it!" I retort back. "Why are you even having a party?" I ask trying to change the subject so my anger can cool down.</p><p>He shifts uncomfortably. I can see he's debating wether or not to tell me, but responds quickly after saying, "It's my birthday, and my parents are away. They never spend birthdays with me, so I always throw a party," I fell like an idiot. It was his birthday and I didn't even know. I quickly then come to realization that I hardly know him, so I shouldn't feel this because I didn't know. "Well, Happy Birthday," I say while standing up and walking to my clothes. He turns his body to watch and begins to talk, "So will you come, King? I can't think of anyone I would rather spend my birthday with, because so far it's been great," he says, looking back at the pit and then to me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Hehe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I stood there frozen, taking in what Yusef just said to me. What does he mean? Obviously, he means he's had a great day with you, you twat, my subconscious retorts. I mean, we really didn't do much, and we barely know each other so how could I have made his day great so far? It makes no sense to me; he makes no sense to me. Then again, nothing has made sense to me since I moved here.</p><p>I sigh, throwing my clothes back to the ground and walking back to him, taking a seat right next to him at the end of the pit. He glances at me sympathetically while watching. "So, how old are you?" I began to ask. "17 today," he says. "You're so young," I chuckle back to him, causing him to push me back in the pit laughing. "Hey, I was only being truthful!" I put my hands up in my defense.</p><p>The water pit was actually way warmer than it was before, so I just stood there basking in the water. As I slowly began to drift away in the water, Yusef brought me right back.</p><p>"Your mother seems nice," he says, a bit awkward with a smile. I shoot him a confused look, almost saying when have you met my mother, exactly? I think he caught onto my look and answered my thoughts. "From what I can tell when I met her for 3 seconds while returning your phone, I mean," he says reminding me, almost annoyed by me not remembering. I completely forgot that he had stopped by after my little argument with my mom. I shoot him a apologetic glance and said, "Yeah, she is." "So, what made you guys move to Amsterdam of all places?" Yusef questions. "My mother's a writer, and the current book she's writing is going to take place here, so what better way to get know a place than living in it?" I said a bit low. "Do you move all the time when she writes books?" "Yeah, I do," I reply a little sad thinking about the 8 places we've moved to in the past 3 years. Yusef gave me this look as if he was sorry for me. "I mean, I'm fine with it. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. And writing makes her happy, so I put up with it, I guess." He sends an understanding look to me, and comes into the pit with me, making the water swirl in circles as he comes towards me. "Are you staying here for a while?" he questions needily. "You ask a lot of questions, Yusef" I snort, not answering the questions and just shake my head, not knowing an answer. </p><p>This silence fell between us, but it wasn't an awkward silence at all; it was the comfortable silence type. Yusef began looking down, staring right into my eyes while saying, "I hope you stay here long." He shot me a cheesy smile, causing me to push him under the water and let out a laugh.</p><p>I got out the pit suddenly tired of water, and hungry. Really hungry. Yusef quickly followed after me. Once I got to my clothes, I looked at my phone. Shit, it was 5:30. How did time pass so fast? It felt like just 5 minutes ago, we were leaving first period. I quickly got dressed while Yusef stared at me really confused. I answered his thoughts and said "It's 5:30." He seemed to care less, and began getting dressed.</p><p>While Yusef took forever to get dressed, I just stared at the beautiful pit. I was gonna miss this place. It was amazing, and even though I did get angry earlier, it was a nice place to relieve stress and just not worry about anything. Yuseg bringing me here was great, and if he hadn't pinned me to the wall forcing me here, I probably would've went to the park alone giving myself pity over how Yusef treats me around his friends. I bit my lip at the memory of him pinning me against the wall and feeling his hot breath on my neck, but I quickly snapped the memory out of my head before I could react more.</p><p>I turn to look back at Yusef who was still getting dressed, and then he smirked and chuckled. "Did you like it here?" he asks, pulling up his jeans. "Yeah, sad to be leaving, really. Can I just stay here and avoid the real world forever?" I question, staring at him. "I'm sorry," he says. I feel confused really, I mean what is he sorry for, but he answers my thoughts by saying, "For always treating you so bad around my friends; I don't mean it." I feel my body tense. Instead of letting myself get angry, I breath in and out slowly exhaling all the anger inside me. "I know," I state.</p><p>In some weird way, I try to understand just for the moment, because I don't wanna ruin this day. Even though I'm completely confused and have no fucking idea what he means. Finally, Yusef is done and grabs me by the hand and leads me out of the pit and through the rocky tunnel. My stomach begins to churn at the contact of our hands and I don't know if that's good or not.</p><p>At one point, we finally reach the car and just drive, in silence. Suddenly, I began to feel empty as we drove farther and farther away from the pit. Maybe because I was suddenly coming to realize that the perfect day was coming to an end and I didn't want it to. I rest my head against the window and I instantly feel my eye lids go heavy, causing me to fall fast asleep.</p><p>~~</p><p>"King, wake up. We're at your house," I hear Yusef say while shaking me. I slowly come back to the real world realizing that we're in my driveway. I look to Yusef then back to my house and stretch out. "You're cute when you sleep," Yusef blushes. I say nothing in response. Instead, I turn to open the door, but I am quickly pulled back into the car midway from getting out. "Come tonight. Please, for me?" Yusef begs. I stare into his eyes. They seem so soft, so needy. He's still holding my wrist when I stare up into his eyes. "I'll think about it," I say right before getting out the car and closing the door behind me, leaving Yusef with a hopeful smile on his face</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I smiled to myself while walking away from Yusef’s car, almost happy with myself. I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn't really care. I hardly ever care when I'm with Yusef. He wanted me to go to his party, and I wanted to attend just as much, but my subconscious had other plans warning me of everything bad that can go wrong in just a couple hours.</p><p>As I walk in through the front door, I'm greeted by the smell of cleaning supplies. Mother must've actually pulled away from her writing and cleaned this damn house. It's about time. I look around and didn't see an unpacked box in sight. She must've kept herself busy; most of the house is designed the same way we've been designing it for years. I walk into the kitchen and sit at the table, realizing it's too quiet. Where the hell is my mother, I thought to myself, while gazing around the kitchen. My eyes then find a note on the fridge. I get up from my chair and read the note. </p><p>Out writing, won't be back till late tonight. I finished that packing so everything should be in it's rightful place. Finish unpacking your room and don't forget to lock up tonight! -Mom</p><p>I laughed to myself wondering what this crazy lady was doing around Amsterdam writing. I threw the note away and proceeded to my bedroom. I hadn't unpacked anything, actually. My book shelf and drawers stood in my large room empty. I didn't feel like unpacking. What's the point if we're just gonna get up and move again? I threw myself on my bed again when suddenly my phone beeped signaling I had a new text message </p><p>Yusef; <br/>Hey babe, you should really come tonight I already miss you. :( </p><p>I smiled way too widely out of my control, but then sudden realization hit me. How the fuck did Yusef get my number? Curiosity eating the fuck out me, I responded back with </p><p>"How the hell did you get my number Yusef? You cease to amaze me with your stalking skills." I laughed while typing and hitting send. </p><p>A few seconds later I got a new text, from the same number, Yusef.</p><p>Yusef; <br/>The day in the dark, when I touched your bum, and walked you home. I stole your phone, remember? I put my number in your phone then and got yours. ;) </p><p> </p><p>I blushed at the memory but quickly shook it off. It's only Yusef I remembered, not Haley. I didn't really know how to respond back so 5 minutes later, I typed; </p><p>"Oh well, that's cool I guess. I didn't realize."</p><p>I hit send, not caring anymore where this conversation was going. A few seconds later, a new message appeared, and a smile crept on my face at the sight. He texted back so fast, and it made me feel so wanted, like I wasn't boring as shit, which I completely was.</p><p>Yusef; <br/>Babe, are you coming? It's gonna be boring here without seeing you. It's starts at 10 and I would love for you to at least make an appearance on my birthday. :( </p><p> </p><p>Aww, wait no. I replied seconds later with; <br/>" I told you I'd think about it, Yusef. What's the address? And stop calling me babe. I have a girlfriend." </p><p>Sometimes I wonder why does this kid even bother, I mean it's a loss cause. I'll never like him more than a friend. If we even are considered friends. I mean he treats me like utter shit 98 percent of the time, but then again he's actually really a nice guy the other 2 percent of the time. Why would he even like me anyway? He probably doesn't even like me. I'm just over thinking the situation. He can like that Tyler kid or even any guy for that matter. Anyone is just dying for Yusef  to just look at them, and I could give a fuck less, but yet I get all this unwanted and unneeded attention. It's so irritating. My phone beeped pulling me from my thoughts. </p><p>I frowned a little, the text wasn't from Yusef, but Haley. </p><p>H; <br/>I'm thinking about going to visit you soon. Maybe tomorrow? You up for it? I miss you. </p><p>I groaned and threw my phone; I don't wanna see her if I'm being completely honest. Instead of replying back, I walked to one of my packed boxes labeled clothes and started rummaging through it. What exactly do you wear to a high school party? I've been to parties, just not high school ones; much older one's that I probably shouldn't even have been involved in. I ended up rummaging through the box for a good 30 minutes before picking out some blue washed-ripped jeans and a white t shirt, and a jean jacket with a grey hoodie inside, and some converse. Eh, it will have to do. </p><p> </p><p>I laid back on the bed again, searching for my phone. Once I swiped it open, serval messages from Yusef and Haley popped up. <br/>I clicked Yusef’s contact name completely ignoring Haley’s for the time being. </p><p>Yusef <br/>(Numbers) maple drive. </p><p>Yusef; <br/>Does this mean your coming then King? </p><p>Yusef; <br/>it'll be oddly boring without you to annoy. </p><p>Yusef; <br/>You like it when I call you babe though. Don't you babe? &lt;3 </p><p>Then, finally I scroll to the most recent one which was sent a minute ago. </p><p>Yusef; <br/>People are here, hope to see you soon. x </p><p> </p><p>It's now like 10:30, so I decide to read the messages from Haley to get it out of the way. </p><p>Haley; <br/>I really miss you King, you've been so distant lately. </p><p>Fuck, I groaned and replied with; <br/>" I'm sorry baby, you can come down tomorrow yeah? We'll spend the whole day together. Have a safe night flight and I'll see you in the morning. :) " </p><p>As much as I rather not see her, I have to. She IS my girlfriend who I've been ignoring quite a little so maybe her visiting will be good for the both of us. </p><p>I get up from my bed and shut the lights off while closing the door. I make sure all the lights are off throughout the house. I get my keys from the hall table, shut those lights off and proceeded to the door. Once I'm out, I lock it and make my way to the car. Anticipation for tonight already filling in me, I pull out my phone for one last quick text to Yusef. <br/>"I'm on my way now :)" <br/>And with that, I put the key in the ignition, start the car, and pull out the drive way into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drive seemed so long. I had no clue where I was going or what part of town Yusef even lived in. My GPS said turn right so I did as I was told. Once I turned, my mouth dropped at the small secluded area I just was in. Each street was filled with beautiful house after beautiful house. I immediately thought how the fuck could Yusef afford to live here? As rude as that sounds, it's true; he doesn't seem like the rich type. Maybe he's just having one of those foreclosure parties. You know those one's where teens sneak into houses that aren't being used. </p><p>The GPS told me to proceed straight and I followed instructions. I looked around while driving, examining this beautiful scenery. God, I wish I lived in this part of town. The GPS told me to take one more turn and quickly announced I'd be at my destination. Once I turned, I parked my car on the corner and walked up the road to the big house. As I got closer and closer, I started to grow nervous. Why the fuck was I nervous? I got so much as to the front of the house and stood there in pure astonishment. The house looked like something you'd see in a movie. All white, 5 stories tall, a huge green lawn with evenly cut grass, two gold light post polls on opposite sides of the steps leading to the house, with a red door. I stood on a step, too amazed to move. God, I wished I fucking lived here. I could only imagine what the inside looked like. </p><p>I hadn't realized, but I'd been standing in place for a while, just ignoring the loud music like it wasn't even playing, still staring in awe. Suddenly, my phone began ringing, signaling I had an incoming phone call. I groaned while reaching to get it out of my pocket. I swear if it's Ha- I quickly cut my thinking off and smiled while I looked at Yusef’s contact. I slid my finger on the screen to answer the phone and was greeted with Yusef’s voice. </p><p>"Like what you see babe?" He says while laughing. </p><p>"What?" I reply with really confused while still standing on the step. </p><p>"You know you're really cute when you're staring at my house like that?" He questions while laughing still. </p><p>"Shutup Yusef, where are y-" </p><p>"Look up!" He says while cutting me off. </p><p>I do as I'm told and look up, to see a grinning Yusef on a balcony towards the left side of the house. I smile brightly and wave back while speaking into the phone. </p><p>"Shouldn't the birthday boy be out enjoying his party? Not cooped up on a balcony stalking a guy?" I say while laughing. </p><p>"Not when the guys as cute as you," he says, still grinning widely. </p><p>"So are you coming in or are you going to stair at my house all night?" Yusef says while holding back his laugh. </p><p>I roll my eyes and walk towards the red door. My eyes go back up to the balcony to see that Yusef left. </p><p>I'm standing in front of the red door breathing in and out. My mind is telling me to leave, go the fuck home and just watch Netflix all night, but obviously I don't listen. I push the door open, and I'm immediately greeted with a red cup filled with God knows what, but it smells really strong. My nerves begin to come back, so I take in the cup with a huge slurp. Seems as soon as I put my empty red cup down, another one filled with something different and much stronger is handed to me. I take in the cup and walk around the house. </p><p>This house is fucking amazing. There's a grand staircases that rolls into a circle up to the other stories of the house. If you turn to the right, you're greeted to a huge living room where the party is taking place. Look to your left, there's a kitchen that is literally made up of stainless white glass. The keg and other alcohol is all spread throughout the kitchen with a few couples making out on the counter next to the food. How beautiful; I rolled my eyes at the thought. I tried to make my way into the living room, avoiding all the grinding going on. I guess that's what dancing is considered nowadays. I sit at the end of the big living room in a corner, suddenly finishing my 2nd drink and getting a 3rd. </p><p>I don't really know anyone at this party. Why the hell did I even agree to come? Everyone seems to know each other and seem to be enjoying themselves. I take in my 3rd cup of God knows what with a swig to my mouth. It feels like the whole school is here. People began to glance at me but say nothing. Like they could care less of my presence; I'm just glad no one is yelling fag in my direction. The thought off being called fag in school this morning comes back to my head, and I find a 4th cup and wash it down within seconds, trying to get those thoughts out of my head. I'm beginning to feel a bit whoozy and everything seems a little bit dull. My mind slowly begins to drift away with thought Of Yusef. While I search for a 5th cup. </p><p>It's been about an hour and still no sign of Yusef. I've heard his name a couple times being called by Michael and Ashton. The thought makes me grow sad seeing that he invited me here and hasn't even bothered to find me or communicate with me. I've been drinking for the past hour and I sorta lost count on cup 13; I don't know, it was around there. I usually can handle my liquor very well, but this time seems different. I have no idea what state I'm in and God knows wtf I'm drinking. Suddenly, I get this urge to pee. I try to stand, balancing myself with the walls around, trying to make my way back to the hall between the living room and kitchen. Once there, I head up the grand staircase in search of a bathroom.</p><p>As I'm going up the stairs, there becomes a point where my legs feel like jello and I literally begin to crawl the rest of the way up. Don't judge me, my body hurts. The 2nd story is beyond beautiful. Navy blue carpet lay one the floor with white walls and cherry wooden tables stand every few feet away from each other. God, there's rooms everywhere. I groan to myself knowing a headache is coming on and it's going to take me about 85 years to find a bathroom. </p><p>I try to stand to my feet with the help of a wooden table. I slowly make my way to the left side of the walkway to begin my search. I wiggle a few doors, only to my luck that most of them are locked or occupied by hormonal teenagers. Almost giving up, I make my way towards the end of the hall to a black and white door with a golden knob. I suddenly release a breath I hadn't known I was holding as I turned the knob and the door swung open. </p><p>I walked into the room and shut it behind me. The room was really spacious. It had a king sized bed with blue and white sheets with a night stand table holding a lamp and endless amounts of CDs. There was a black desk with a MacBook on it and a bulletin board right above it. Curiosity got the best of me and I wobbled to the bulletin board. As I walked, I realized there was a glass sliding door to a balcony outside. The view through the glass door was beautiful. It had full view of the night sky; it seemed so calm and peaceful in this room. Towards a corner, there was multiple guitars set up on stands. They looked almost brand new, so precious. Before I even got to the desk, two doors on opposite sides of the room caught my attention and suddenly, I remembered why I had come here in the first place. </p><p>I ran to one of the doors and swung it open. To my luck, it was a bathroom. A fancy one at that might I add, but all I had on my mind was pissing my guts out. After I relieved myself, I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. The bathroom was white marble; it had a silver shiny shower and the lighting was really bright. I shut the light off and closed the door. I walked toward the desk, remembering what caught my eye before I remembered my pissing urge. The bulletin board was filled with pictures. It had family pictures, friends pictures, and some movie tickets all pinned on it. They were all of Yusef and what I'm assuming are his mom, dad, Michael, Ashton, and even a few of Tyler. Jealousy and anger grew in me as I was looking at the picture of Yusef and Tyler laughing and smiling. I wanted to rip them off the board completely, but decided against it. They were even some of Yusef as a kid. One of him with a fake microphone singing to what looks like his mom. I smiled to myself, my anger dying down. Yusef looked happy in every single picture and just the thought of him being happy made me happy in this moment. God, wtf is wrong with me, I began to start thinking. Must be everything I drank getting to my mind. Straying away from my thoughts, I brought my eyes back to the pictures. The ones with Michael and Ashton to be exact. There was one of them carrying Yusef in a bridal style. One of them all laughing, and another of them all playing instruments; it looks like it was taken in this exact room. Wait, this must be Yusef’s room.I smiled to myself. </p><p>I just stood there, staring at all of them for a while. I still feel intoxicated, like I can knock out at any time. I think I'm an emotional drunk because thoughts of Yusef began to creep back into my mind. I miss him, and I feel angry I haven't seen him at all since I arrived here. What? Wtf? Why do I miss him? I mentally face palm myself as I heard a door swing open. I assume it came from another room, but I quickly realize I'm wrong when I feel two arms swing me around to look straight up at them. Yusef. I smiled. Finally, I thought to myself, but I changed my expression quickly, realizing that I'm fucking pissed at him. </p><p>"Hey cutie, I see you've found my room. Like it?" He asks with a grin on his face. </p><p>"Yeah, it's nice if I'm being honest." I say emotionless while pushing him away from me. </p><p>"What's wrong?" He asks, overly concerned. </p><p>At this point, I'm beyond angry with him for more reasons than I know and I try to keep quiet, but everything just comes out of my mouth so fast before I can even try to stop myself. </p><p>"What's wrong? WHAT'S FUCKING WRONG? HAHAHA, FUNNY ONE, YUSEF. YOU INVITED ME HERE, PRACTICALLY BEGGED ME TO COME HERE, AND YOU WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND ALL NIGHT. YOU IGNORED ME THE ENTIRE NIGHT FOR YOUR GROUP OF FRIENDS WHILE I SAT IN THE CORNER TO ALL MY ENDLESS THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU, ABOUT US..." He cuts me off and questions me while saying, "Us?" But I quickly shut him the fuck up. </p><p>"YES YUSEF, US. ARE YOU STUPID?! ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS, LIKE ONE MINUTE YOU'RE BEING SO REAL AND NICE AND TRUTHFUL TO ME! THEN, THE NEXT YOU'RE TREATING ME LIKE SHIT, KICKING ME IN THE HALLS. LITERALLY. FOR WHAT? WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY GET OUT OF IT? A BETTER SCHOOL REP? TRYING TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS? WELL NEWS FLASH! THEY'RE NOT REALLY YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE THAT JUST TO GAIN THEIR SATISFACTION. I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOR 2 DAYS AND THOSE 2 DAYS HAVE FELT LIKE 2 YEARS! YOU'RE SO CONFUSING! ONE MINUTE YOU'RE TAKING ME TO REALLY NICE WATER PITS AND TALKING SWEETLY TO ME FROM A BALCONY AND THE NEXT YOU'RE COMPLETELY IGNORING MY EXISTENCE WHEN YOU WANTED ME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M SO DONE. I'M BEYOND DONE WITH WHATEVER THIS IS." I motion my hands between us and wipe the sweat building on my forehead. I can't fucking stand him right now, and being intoxicated has given me all this confidence and I will not be silent tonight. </p><p>Yusef looks right into my eyes sympathetically. "I didn't know you felt that way, King. I'm sorry; I'm stupid and-" his voice cracks and he tried to go on, but I interrupt him. </p><p>"Damn right you're stupid. I've never felt like this towards anyone. You get my blood boiling to another level, and I never know what to do," I say, my voice suddenly being lower. </p><p>Yusef comes close to me and rests his hand on my cheek. Instead of being reluctant, I lean into his touch, all anger vanishing within seconds. I put my hands around his waist and pull him closer to me. So close that we're touching. </p><p>After minutes of silence, he says, "You reek like alcohol." I suddenly grow really self conscious and push away, only to be pulled back by him into his arms. I really love this feeling; the feeling of just being with him, even if I can hear all the loud punk music playing from downstairs. </p><p>"How much did you drink?" </p><p>"I stopped counting at the 13th cup," I say honestly while laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world. </p><p>"You know that was pure hard liquor, right? You're gonna be so sick tomorrow, and you probably won't remember anything." He trails off and silence falls. </p><p>"I feel like you like me better when you're drunk. Why don't you like me when you're sober?" </p><p>"I think when I'm drunk, I gain a lot of confidence"</p><p>"Confidence?" He questions. </p><p>"Yeah, Confidence . I've been wanting to tell you off since Thursday I just never had the nerve. I think I'm just afraid." </p><p>"Afraid of what?"</p><p>"My feelings towards you. They're different. They aren't right. They shouldn't be right, especially when I have Haley." </p><p>He smiles then rolls his eyes at the mention of Haley. I laugh and and play with his hair. "You're cute when you're jealous." God, I have so much confidence. </p><p>"You're honest when you're drunk," he says a little too calmly. He leans close to my face to the point where our foreheads are touching. We both stare into each others eyes. He gives me this look and then stares at my lips as if asking permission, but instead of answering, I crash my lips onto his. Our lips move in sync together, very slow and passionate. It feels so right, but Yusef pulls away with regret in his eyes. Regret? </p><p>"I can't; you're drunk. You won't even remember this tomorrow, King." </p><p>I'm infuriated at this point. "Can't? Or won't? You have a choice, Yusef" I spit angrily. </p><p>"I choose not to because you're fucking drunk, Calum." He says trying to sound as calm as possible but fails. </p><p> </p><p>The door that I came in from suddenly is getting pushed open and here enters a white and black headed Michael. I roll my eyes, I mean wtf is up with this kid and his hair?!</p><p>"What the fuck is this fag doing in here?" Michael yells to Luke like I'm not even there. Yusef shoots me this disgusted look. Great. We're back to him treating me like shit for the satisfaction of his friends. What happens next blows my mind.</p><p>"I have no fucking idea. I come to my room to use my bathroom and I saw him come through the balcony! I wanna know who the fuck invited him cause I sure didn't!" Yusef yells. </p><p>I have no tolerance for this anymore. I'm completely done with this, and I'm fucking done with Yusef. As suspected, the headache I knew that was coming comes on. Perfect timing. I just mutter "typical" to Yusef and began to laugh. I don't even know why; I just find this so funny. I'm so pathetic. Michael and Luke look at me confused and I run out the room, down the stairs and out the door till the night air hits me. I walk slowly to my car, not knowing what to do. When I get there, I know damn well I'm too drunk to drive but I do anyway, so I put the key in the ignition and floor it! </p><p> </p><p>*Yusef's POV* </p><p>"God, that kid has no boundaries," I say to Michael who is now amused by King's storm away. King let out huge bombs tonight, and I'm sure I believe them because a drunk mind speaks the truth of a sober one. I can't help but feel bad, but not give a shit at the same time. That's just who I am. King just makes me a completely different person, and I hate the idea of that, but I still fall into it. Nope, not tonight. Not on my fucking birthday. That's why he's gone. Michael leaves my room with a snicker while saying, "Tyler's looking for you," with a wink. I follow him out my room to see an eager Tyler standing outside. I need a toy for the night; he'll be perfect. I pull him in by the wrist, slam the door, and push him up against it. "I've missed this," he whispers in my ear. "Two days is way too long," is the last thing he whispers before I crash myself into him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I drove through the city with the windows down, and the radio blaring. Alone together by fall out boy was on and I couldn't help but rock to the song keeping myself from all thoughts of Yusef. I just don't understand why he acts the way he does. Maybe it's family problems, maybe it was something that happened when he was younger. You know all the usual reasons for people to act so cold hearted and fucked up. Or maybe he just really likes playing with people and you're just another toy, like Tyler was, my subconscious rudely adds to my self argument about Yusef.</p><p>After a while of pointless driving and half of fall out boy's album, I finally made it home in one piece which is shocking actually. I could barely make out the road, and I have no clue how I made it in one piece. I pull the key out the ignition and pull myself out the car, still with a massive headache. Maybe fall out boy wasn't the best band to listen to while having a headache.</p><p>Stumbling out the car, my phone fell onto the concrete sidewalk. I mentally groan and see the many notifications on the screen saying I had text messages from Haley. I furiously pick it up, shove it in my pocket and try to make my way to the front door without falling.</p><p>The walk feels so endless even though it's only a couple feet. God, maybe I did drink way too much. I groan out loud as I try to look for my keys in my pocket. I glanced at the drive to see my mother still wasn't home. Where is that woman? Probably fucking the mail man, they have been way too friendly lately I say out loud to myself. All though, she wouldn't do that, not yet, memories of my father are to fresh for her to be searching for another lover, I say in response to myself. Hmm, holding conversations with yourself can actually be entertaining.</p><p>I still can't find my keys in my pocket, where the fuck are they? I go to open the door and to my surprise it's unlocked and swings open rather rapidly. I walk in cautiously. How the fuck is this damn door unlocked, I yell to myself while closing it. Who the fuck is here, I shout when I probably shouldn't have. Maybe there's an intruder here and I could die at any possible minute. I go upstairs, and downstairs searching for someone or something. Everything looks in place and untouched, so I turn the lights off in the hallway, lock the front door and make my way to my room. Thinking that maybe my mother came, left and forgot to lock the door. It wouldn't be a first time.</p><p>I begin think maybe I should unpack my boxes this time, maybe my mother would want to stay and take a break from writing. We have enough money for our liking, we just don't use it all, or show off. She likes to stay Humble and her not writing and selling books for at least a year won't affect us at all. I hit the switch to my room and head towards the bathroom searching for pain relievers, my headache being very unbearable right now.</p><p>I swallow the blue pills down whole without water. A hard ball begins forming in the back of my throat and I immediately know what's coming next. My tongue almost goes numb signaling that I'm right, I let out a gag and vomit comes rushing out following more gags. I vomit in the sink, not bothered with the fact that I'm gonna have to clean it up later on. Once I'm finished, I feel my throat go back to normal and my tongue begin regaining feeling again. I wipe my mouth with the towel and shut the light to the bathroom off.</p><p>I turn to look to my bed and to my surprise i see a worried Yusef Brown sitting there waiting upon my arrival.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"No I just finished vomiting my guts out. " I spat back to him. I don't want him here, I mean he constantly makes me feel not good enough and like shit around his friends and then sweet when no one's around. I refuse to deal with it. I'm not Tyler.</p><p>"How'd you get in here? Why are you even here? Don't you have other guys you can bother?" I continue on while staring at him.</p><p>"None that I actually care about." He states quietly. "You dropped your keys when you left, when I was on my way downstairs back to the party, I found them. Figured they were yours and came here. You weren't home so I came in and waited for you. You know you should really have you car keys and house keys together," I rolled my eyes at his suggestion.</p><p>"What took you so long to get here? You left my house over an hour and a half ago."</p><p>"Why are you keeping tabs on me? I can go where ever the fuck I want. You aren't my mom"</p><p>"True." I laughed at his response.</p><p>"That's all you can say?" I suddenly feel all this sadness coming over me.</p><p>"Why do you treat me like shit around your friends, Yusef?" I say holding back a sob and in this moment, I know I'm an emotional drunk and my head still spinning. I know I won't remember any of this tomorrow.</p><p>Tears began to come down from my eyes and Yusef notices and pushes me on to his lap from where I was standing across from him.</p><p>"Shhh," he whispers into my ear while stroking my hair. I nuzzle up to his neck for comfort and my heart softens completely for this guy, all thoughts of Haley vanishing.</p><p>"I'm sorry King, I'm such an idiot." He whispers again almost to a point where it isn't audible.</p><p>"Why?" I choke out between a sobs "why?"</p><p>"You won't remember this tomorrow, so what's the point? You won't want me to hold you like this tomorrow, so what the point, King? This won't ever work and you know why. So why waste my breath?" I nod against his chest in agreement, only time will tell, I'm in this different state of mind and God knows what I'll remember in the morning.</p><p>He tightens his grip on me making me feel more secure in his arms as I slowly feel the tears drying. Today has been so shitty, I knew I should've stayed home, but I think apart of me is glad I didn't because odds are if I did, I wouldn't be in Yusef's arms right now.</p><p>"Stay the night?" I pled against his chest.</p><p>"You sure? You might not like It in the morning." He asks cautiously.</p><p>"I'm sure, stay. Please"</p><p>He nods in agreements and gently gets up with me in his arms and lays me on the bed towards the back against the wall.</p><p>"I'll be right back." He says while going into the bathroom. I hear the sink run, but suddenly have no energy to question what he's doing. I slowly shut my eyes because keeping them open has become too difficult. I hear Yusef come out the bathroom closing the door and begin to rummage through my boxes.</p><p>Seconds later, I'm lifted up to a sitting position, with my back against the wall. I lazily open my eyes to see a loving expression on Yusef’s face.</p><p>"C'mon babe, let's get you out of these uncomfortable clothes," he says white stripping me slowly. I begin to shiver under his touch and when he noticed the affect he has on me, a grin begins to come across his face. To try and avoid what's happening to me, I ask "what were you doing in the bathroom?"</p><p>"Cleaning up your vomit," I groan and hide my face feeling really embarrassed he did that.</p><p>"You didn't have to do that," I say with my hands to my face.</p><p>He stops unbuttoning my jeans to pull my hands from my face staring at me with his deep beautiful eyes. My hands are held gently in his lap.</p><p>"I know, I wanted too. You can't leave vomit there it stinks within time," he chuckles while going to pull of my jeans.</p><p>His eyes grow wide at my area and I feel heat grow up to my cheeks. </p><p>(Shrimp dick...jkjk)</p><p>"Woah," he whispers while starring at my buldge in my boxer briefs. I assume he thinks I didn't hear him because he quickly tries to regain himself and pulls my shirt he picked out from the box on followed by sweats. He lays me back down and gets back up, I quickly grab him by the wrist and pull him back down to the bed.</p><p>"Where do you think you're going?" I ask while yawning.</p><p>"To turn the lights off babe, I'll lay on the couch in the living room." He responds with a chuckle.</p><p>" no, sleep with me, please?" I beg more than ask.</p><p>He nods his head and goes to turn the lights off, I know he hasn't left because seconds later, I feel the bed dip and Yusef comes curling up next to me. Before he can do anything my phone begins to ring and he grabs it from my jean pocket that are laying on the floor now.</p><p>"It's a text message from Haley" he says and I can almost see him eye rolling through the darkness.</p><p>I groan and tell him to ignore it, that'll I'll deal with her in the morning.</p><p>"Why are you with Haley?" He asks seriously while putting my phone on the floor.</p><p>"I don't really know anymore. I've known her for quite a long time and we've been on and off dating forever. She's just usually there. Why? Jealous? " I joke.</p><p>"N-N-o" he cracks, proving me that I'm right. I smirk and giggle, while he responds "okay, maybe a little"</p><p>I gasp loudly turning to look at him on the bed "Yusef Brown ? jealous? what? Someone alert the media?" I say while bursting out into hysterics.</p><p>"Shut up," he says while turning me to face the wall and putting his hand around my waist, gripping me protectingly. He then pushes his body closer to my back and I lean into his chest. This feeling being amazing, better than words can describe. If only Yusef could be like this all the time.</p><p>Yusef then brings his mouth to my head and places sweet kisses on my forehead saying, "I wish you would remember this in the morning."</p><p>I let out a sigh, my eyes becoming too heavy to keep open and my mouth suddenly feeling too heavy to open and respond. Instead, I sink into him and take in his scent, but in this time instead of smelling like his normal mint with fabric detergent, he smells like perfume man cologne on his neck and chest. Why didn't I notice this smell before? But before I can even question him or what he was doing at the party, sleeps falls upon me forcing my eyes shut at possibly the wrong time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>beep beep beep beep beep beep*</p><p>Uggh, what the hell is that horrid sound? I groan out loud at all the noise coming from my night stand. When I try and turn to face the disturbance, I groan again and quickly regret even thinking about moving, let alone actually moving. My head feels heavy on my pillow, and it aches with pain. I don't have the strength to turn my body on the bed from the wall, but force myself to because the noise is getting irritating.</p><p>As I turn, my body aches and I groan out loud again. I reach my hand towards the night stand stretching. Then realizing that the front side of my bed is tucked away neatly as if someone made it. I think to myself what the hell? Then glance at the side of the bed I'm laying on and realize what a wrinkled mess it looks like. I lay there puzzled still very confused with it all while still trying to stretch. I shake the uneasy feeling and ignore it. Maybe I decided to sleep on one side of the bed last night, I say out loud, putting my self at ease.</p><p>I grab my phone from the night stand to see many text messages from my girlfriend, Haley. The time in my phone reads 9:30am. Disgust fills me; I'm so tired of her, but I really miss her and at the same time I want nothing to do with her. Why is she constantly texting me at this hour? Shouldn't she be taking pictures of the sky or something for her photography class or at least getting ready for class? I slide my phone open and immediately turn the brightness down for my eyes' benefit.</p><p>Once I can finally look at my screen without wanting to scratch my eye sockets out, I read threw all her messages. When I'm finished reading, I quickly sprint up in my bed rapidity. Fuck, I did that too fast, now my head aches way more than it did. I'm probably the worst boyfriend ever. How do I forget my own girlfriend flying in to see me? I look down at myself, and realize I'm wearing my favorite shirt that says polaroid in lots of colors on it with the camera on the front. I then look to the ground to see my clothes in the floor, then I look to see my brown boxes are opened. I slowly began to get up from my bed clutching my phone in hand. I slump towards the floor grabbing the clothes that lay on the ground perfectly folded and examine them as if they aren't even mine.</p><p>I bring the clothing up to my nose, realizing they reek of alcohol and then it suddenly hits me. I went to Yusef's birthday yesterday, and I remember drinking in a corner alone, waiting for Yusef who never showed himself to me, but was most certainly around remembering that I heard Ashton and Michael call him. But nothing after that seems to surface my mind, and I have complete memory of what happened before Yusef was happy to see me and wanted me to come to the party. Why didn't he look for me then? Why had I just sat there all night and drank? How the hell did I even get home? I probably drove drunk, I mean it wouldn't be a first time. At least I made it home in one piece this time, I thought to myself. Maybe I got drunk, drove myself home, changed and climbed into bed. Yeah, that's what most likely happened. Knowing me, I probably didn't wanna put up with Yusef's shit.</p><p>My phone beeps again, taking me out if my very vague thoughts of last nights happening.</p><p>H; babe, I'm here. Come pick me up! I can't wait to see you!</p><p>I roll my eye's while reading and reply back with something simple not wanting to show how annoyed I am, and how much I rather stay home and sleep off my hangover. Haley has an issue with drunks. She despises them. I remember we got into this huge argument when I went to her house drunk off my ass after spending a night with the boys. She dumped me and then took me back the next day. That's just how we always were.</p><p>"I'm on my way, slept in late. Be there soon" I hit sent and tried to pick myself up from the floor to head towards the bathroom.</p><p>This weird feeling hit me as I stepped foot into my bathroom. It smelled cleaner than usual, like someone recently cleaned it. Which makes no sense because my mother would never clean my bathroom. It could be as disgusting as a junkyard and she still would never touch it. Something about me being a man so I should do it myself. I don't understand. She's my mother; she should do it! As these thoughts of my mother cleaning my bathroom come to mind, I walk towards the sink and pass my fingers on the marble counter top. Not a dust spec in sight. Crystal clean, so clean I can see my reflection in it. When my finger passes the sink, my stomach churns and I grab it in pain. My stomach begins to grumble. Ugh, and an unwanted feeling comes to my throat. Not the feeling I get when I throw up, but the feeling I get after I've thrown up. I stand there confused still look down at the sink with my fingers grazing upon it. Did I throw up last night? Did someone clean it? All these things come to my mind, and they have to be right for my bathroom to be this clean. But who the hell would actually clean it? I mean even I wouldn't clean, I'd leave it there till morning like I always do.</p><p>I ignore my thoughts, and brush my <br/>Teeth, then slowly bring my attention to the mirror hanging on the wall and take in my appearance. I look like shit; I don't even look hungover, almost high. Christ. My hair is going in every other direction, and my eyes are huge and tired. After I'm done, I take 3 head pain relievers and I was lazily walking to the brown boxes. I mentally curse at myself for not unpacking because now I have to stand her and rummage for jeans. Losing patience quite quickly, I pull out the first pair I see. Which are a black pair with a hole by the knee. I throw on my black and white converse and make my way out my room.</p><p>My head is still pounding and body aches with every step. Why am I up? I should be in bed. As I'm walking out to the front door, I'm stopped and called by my mother from the kitchen. I don't remember getting in at all last night, or getting yelled at her for probably coming home late. So maybe she wasn't home? She'll kill me if she finds out I came home late and drunk. I mentally tell myself don't say anything about last night unless she mentions it. Hopefully nothing is mentions.</p><p>"King, I got home pretty late last night. Were you fine alone? "</p><p>Maybe, she didn't know anything. But then again a guilty look comes across her face and she looks down. She's hiding something, I know it. I decided to ignore the knowing feeling of her lying and lie to save my ass.</p><p>"Yeah, I just staid home. In my room." I say back calmly walking fully into the kitchen. "What time did you get home?"</p><p>"Late dear, I don't even remember" well this is awkward, do I ask what she was actually doing? Because I highly doubt it was writing. Instead I ignore it completely, and silences fills the both of us till she begins to questions me.</p><p>"Where are you heading so early in the morning?"</p><p>"To pick Haley up at the airport, she came for a visit. I'll bring her tonight for dinner maybe, so why are you up so early if you came late?" I can't help but question, but quickly regret it.</p><p>"I was awoken by something loud falling in the hallway. I assume a box from the hall closet. I went to come downstairs to check on you and see you cuddled up in bed with that Yusef boy from the other night. Care to explain your company over without me knowing, King Arreola?" She scowls.</p><p>I immediately feel my face grow red, my legs weaken, and my already confused thoughts on last night grow more complicated.</p><p>Why was Yusef in bed with me? Did we have sex? Wait what? Guys can't have sex? Can they? Why was he in my bed? Was he the one who fixed the front of my bed? Was he the one who cleaned the bathroom? And was he looking through my boxes for clothes? Did he change me? Did he see me naked? I didn't even see him at the party other than on the balcony when I first got there, did I? Jesus Christ I can't remember anything, and honestly I don't think I want to. What if I cheated on Haley? I can't do that to her, not again. Oh god, not again. This can't be happening. Everything seems to always follow me somehow! Why? The question that seems to be shooting at me the most is why did he leave me? Why?</p><p>I think my mom begins to notice my confused, frantic state and her face soften quickly.</p><p>"Oh baby. If you wanted to have a friend over you could've just asked next time, yeah? I know you can get a bit lonely sometimes. I'm just glad you made friends," she states and hugs me.</p><p>She has no clue that Yusef and I aren't even friends, and he sure as hell didn't have my permission to be here. Did he?</p><p>"Did he leave?" Is all I can ask out in my state.</p><p>"Yeah, when I went in the door creaked and he quickly woke up as if I was intruder," my mom pauses, "He had quite a protective grip on you. He saw me and quickly got to his feet excusing himself. I offered him breakfast, but he said you had things to do with important people and his face fell and left."</p><p>He was talking about Haley, I assume. Had she been texting me all night? Had he known about it? God, why can't I remember anything?</p><p>"Oh, well he just came over and we were just hanging out. Nothing more nothing less, mom." I lie and head to the door.</p><p>"I'm going to get Haley!" I shout while walking out the kitchen. I turn to see my mom turning to get her laptop and turn back towards the front door.</p><p>I walk toward my car, my head still aching, throbbing, pounding. I pull the car door open, and slump into my seat. I rest my head against the steering wheel and shut my eyes, trying to take in all this new found information and piece this very confusing puzzle together. I can't be going down this road again, especially not with someone like Yusef. Haley deserves way more than me and what I've done to her in the past. I don't even know what Yusef and I probably did. But there's 101 possibilities going through my mind. I push them all aside, put the key in the ignition, start the car, and begin my ride to the airport.</p><p>~~</p><p>I pull into a parking spot. The ride here wasn't as long as I expected it to be, but still long. I'm pushing the many doors and people to find the flight that landed from California. I'm walking around for what seems like an hour, give or take, till I finally see a full head of long black curls running to greet me. I can't help but smile at her excitement despite how much I'd rather be sleeping in this moment.</p><p>As she runs to me, she completely lunged herself at me, making me lift her up in response. I twirl her around in my arms and she starts to laugh uncontrollably due to happiness then begins to cry. I put her down and stare at her in much confusion.</p><p>"Why are you crying?"</p><p>"I missed you so much! You don't even understand"</p><p>I only have the guts to say "I know" really shitty but it's better than nothing I guess.</p><p>"C'mon, you can show me around Amsterdam! I head it's so pretty here!"</p><p>"You only know that because you're a photographer." I laugh at her excitement causing her to smack my arm in response.</p><p>"Taking a few pictures won't kill anyone! Geezz, lighten up" she returns while chuckling.</p><p>I can't help but smile at her. I grab her hand in mine and lead her out of the airport to my car. She stands in front of passenger seat with her arms across her chest.</p><p>"Um, King. Be a gentleman much" she laughs while rolling her eyes jokingly.</p><p>"Of course babe" I respond back in fake worry and she laughs at me again. I can't help but feel better even with this hangover, maybe her being here today won't be so bad.</p><p>I run to my side of the car, about to swing the door open when my phone falls to the floor. As I reach down to get it, I get this weird deja vu feeling come over me and a faint memory of me being in my car last night crying angrily shoots across my mind. What the hell? Why was I crying last night? I snap out of my thoughts, my phone buzzing signaling I had a text message from him. Yusef....</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I stare at my screen as if I'm staring at a ghost. I have no idea what this whole Yusef situation is, and I don't think I'm quite ready to figure it all out. Especially with Haley here; last time something like this happened, I didn't tell her. The guilt ate me alive, but a part of me justified my actions. Convincing me completely that what I did wasn't wrong, and it was a one time thing. I was just angry and in the heat of the moment.</p><p>The phone buzzed again, this time signaling I had two more messages from Yusef. I grabbed my phone from the ground and pushed it in my pocket. I can't check those messages, especially with Haley right next to me. As I climbed in the car, she already had the radio blaring to some Demi Lovato song. I slammed the door and pulled out the airport and onto the highway. I brought my attention away from the road to stare at her lovingly while she sung along, the radio now on full volume. I rolled my eyes at her while she attempted to serenade me, quickly bring my sight back to the highway. </p><p>"Noooo matter how far we goo, I want the whole world to know, I want you bad and I won't have it any other way!" she sings in a screaming matter while shooting me a cheeky grin.</p><p>"You should really stick to taking pictures, H."</p><p>"Oh shut up, King," she retorts. "You love my singing."</p><p>"Since when? I don't remember this." I questions while laughing. "You sound like a dying walrus!"</p><p>"Oh yeah?" She asks.</p><p>"Yeah." I agree while nodding my head in her direction. I glance at her and back to the highway again.</p><p>Her playful emotion in her face completely drains, leaving a serious smirk upon it. Her eyes turned dark , and I know exactly what's coming next by her appearance.</p><p>She unbuckled her seat belt and makes her way to my ear. "You'll regret that King Arreola," she whispers while her lips nibble on my ear. But to my surprise, she sits back in her seat innocently. I would be lying if I said she had an affect on me, because she honestly didn't. I think as far as we ever gone is make out, but it hardly ever gets heated.</p><p>To my surprise, a few minutes later, she places her hand on my thigh. My breathing hitches out of shock, not amusement or pleasure and she seems pleased with herself, seeing that maybe she thinks I'm finding pleasure from this. She grazes her hand up and down my thigh. As I pull the car further down the highway, I turn out of a slight bridge and make my way into traffic. She laughs a little too loud and smirks at me.</p><p>"I'm gonna have some fun," she whispers coming back to my ear again. I place the car in the left lane, dramatically causing it to holt due to all the cars' lack of movement. I roll my eyes and take my seat belt off waiting for this traffic to die down.</p><p>Haley moves her hands upward palming my groin through my pants. I grip the steering wheel, and let out a soft whimper from discomfort. The car in front of me has moved a little, so I follow it's actions and move my car up in the crowded lane.</p><p>"You like that don't you, King. You know we've never done it before let alone in a car." As she slurs that thought in my ear I begin to feel myself sober up. Maybe the uncomfortableness snapping me back to reality from my head still pounding, but not as badly as before.</p><p>"You aren't getting.." She trails off and I know exactly what she's going to say before I even cut her off. I violently move her hand from me and sit her back in the passenger seat. She glares at me confused, but it almost look likes she's deeply in thought.</p><p>"I'm just not in the mood," I spit at her.</p><p>"Fine. You never are when it comes from me."</p><p>"What is that supposed to mean?" I practically yell, gripping the steering wheel harder than before with this new sense of rage boiling in me. What the fuck does she mean by that?</p><p>"It means if I were someone else, you'd be all over me. I hear things back in California. Just because you left, doesn't mean people still don't talk about you like you're some fucking king!" she screams back at me, while shaking.</p><p>I smirk at the thought of my old friends talking about me, but it then quickly fads into a frown realizing all the possible things she could've heard. And I'm not necessarily proud of what I've done in California, but not everything I did was bad or negatively influenced. Haley took my silence for confusion and went on.</p><p>"I hear you've fucked other people, even almost fucked. I hear everything King, but when it comes to me you're never turned on, or 'not in the mood' and I thinks that's a load of bullshit. Seeing that I've heard you fucked other people, and I highly doubt they were attractive if you never seem to mention it. You're the type to brag about things like that!" She yells, anger clear in her voice while her lips tremble as she finishes.</p><p>The cars move forward again and I copy the action before gathering my thoughts on a comeback. How can she say I would be the type to brag? She clearly doesn't know me then. I would never brag about almost fucking or fucking someone. That's just cruel. What is she? Drunk? High? I thought I was suppose to be the one trying to fight a hangover.</p><p>"I never fucked anyone," I state calmly trying to show her that what she said didn't faze me at all. It was the truth. I never fucked anyone, but there was this one night with this one person. It was a mistake, as I've said before but I don't think she knows that. They wouldn't tell her that. Would they?</p><p>"I can't believe you think I would brag about something like that if I did," I say before stopping myself.</p><p>She glances at me and her facial expressions softens for a minute before coming to what I think quick realizations.</p><p>"Explain Charlie," She demands more than asks.</p><p>My mouth drops. They did tell her, but who? And why would she wait till now to mention it? She stares at me in pure sadness.</p><p>"So it's true then?"</p><p>"It not what you think," I say, my voice cracking. I feel as if everything is coming in on me. Everything I've tried to hide from her, all these unwanted feelings that have been placed inside of me for over a year now coming out after trying to avoid and push them away. Just come surfacing back. I feel vulnerable, so fucking vulnerable and it isn't right at all.</p><p>"You never get hard with me.." She trails off, whispering to herself. "And all these rumors I've heard about you and Charlie. Nothing ever gets heated between us and you're a 17 year old boy. Their hormones are made for that." Sadness fills her face, but then is quickly followed with disgust.</p><p>"King, are you gay? Does your mother fucking know? Did you fuck Charlie? Were you with him the whole time you were with me? You know your mother will never approve!" She spits at me. Anger fills me completely, but instead of getting angry, I began to whimper in my seat. Slow sobs escaping my mouth.</p><p>"No I'm not gay, Haley. I wouldn't be with you if I were," I say while taking deep breaths to control my sobs. "That night with Charlie was at one of the bonfires, everyone was drunk off their asses and had no clue what they where doing. You know how the group used to get. I was so drunk off my ass that one thing led to another. We almost did, but didn't. Whatever guys can actually do. I did nothing, and it meant nothing," I say in between sobs, still trying convince myself.</p><p>She looks at me questioningly, and looks down to her feet. The cars have finally moved again, and I bring the car forwards following close behind. As I remove one hand off the steering wheel, I reach to grab her's.</p><p>"I'm not gay, I wouldn't fuck anyone either. You know that, H," I say while squeezing her hand.</p><p>"I know, and I'm sorry; everything seemed so sketchy, and I should've known you would never have done anything with Charlie knowingly. I know you despise gays just as much as I do. I should've known you would never do that to your mom or me," She rambles off. "I love you, King. I'm sorry," she said while kissing my cheek. I send her a fake smile.</p><p>If she knew the truth, or even a fraction of the actual truth of that night, she would never look at me the same again. She's opened up so many emotional wounds I've been trying to keep hidden today. I don't know how I'll recover from this, this time. I hate the way she talks about gays; she always has some negative comment about them. She so narrow minded and it irks me. A part of me wants to yell at her for her outlook on gays, but I don't have the confidence. And a part of me that is keeping everything hidden away is telling me keep your fucking mouth shout. So I do just that.</p><p>The traffic finally dies down a little, and I began to race down highways, not wanting to be in this little car with Hlaey much longer. Silence falls between us, and we're about 10 minutes away from the intersection to take us to my house.</p><p>"Turn here! I wanna stop for pictures and I heard there's cool things on the bay areas here!"</p><p>I do as she says without any type of argument, but I quickly regret when we do turn. As we turn, the stone paths look oddly familiar to me. Like I've been here before. She motions me to park on the side of the road.</p><p>" I wanna take some pictures here, if you don't mind," she smiled and I nod my head. Haley rushes out the car and begins take millions of pictures of the stones and now shining sun. </p><p>I get out the car and realize exactly where I am. It's the same stone path. The stone path that leads to the pit. Well I don't really know how to get to the pit seeing that I'm not Yusef. But it looks very familiar. The sand and the rocks. My stomach churns at the memories that were made almost a full day ago here, even if it feels like it's been years since then. Haley won't find the pit; she can't. That's our place, not hers. I think to myself, what?</p><p>I throw myself on the hood of my car trying to shake my thoughts about what I just said about the pit out of my head. I glance up to see Haley still rearranging stones and snapping pictures with her canon 60.</p><p>My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I think back to Yisef's messages. I can't avoid him forever, so I might as well face whatever it is now. I unlock my phone, my nerves getting the best of me as my fingers shake over the screen. I drag the notification center down and click Yusef's contact name.</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Are you feeling okay? x</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Do you remember anything from last night?</p><p>I read his messages and quickly respond back.</p><p>"No❤️, only bits and pieces. You have a lot to explain mister." I hit sent and quickly got a response.</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Even when you have a hangover you still manage to be hot and demanding. Haha.</p><p>My anger towards him has faded and I can't help myself. I fell my face display this huge smile while reading his text and I don't know why. But then I think, I'm with Haley and I seriously need to know what happened between us.</p><p>I text back "We need to talk seriously, I hardly remember anything that happened and I would like to know. Meet me ?"</p><p>Minutes later.</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Sure, tonight? 10:30? Come to my place. I don't want to deal with the awkwardness from your mom again. I left my sweater there so I'll swing by and get it later though.</p><p>"Sure. You can go now I'm not home, my mom's home though don't get too scared. I'll swing by at 10:30." I send back</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Where are you? :(</p><p>"With Haley." I send.</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Ewh. I hope your not having to much fun.</p><p>As I read it, a faint memory comes to mind. Me and Yusef in bed? My bed. It seems like we were playfully arguing? Yeah. That's a surprise. We're always actually arguing.</p><p>*Flashback* </p><p>"Why are you with Haley?" He asks seriously while putting my phone in the floor.</p><p>"I don't really know anymore. I've known for quite a long time and we've been on and off dating forever. She's just usually there. Why? Jealous? " I joke.</p><p>"N-N-o" he cracks. Proving me I'm right. I smirk and giggle, while he responds "okay, maybe a little"</p><p>I gasp loudly turning to look at him on the bed "Yusef Brown? jealous? what? Someone alert the media?" I say while bursting out into hysterics.</p><p>"Shut up" he says while turning me to face the wall and putting his hand around my waist gripping me protectingly. He then pushes his body closer to my back and I lean into his chest.</p><p>*end of flashback*</p><p>He's jealous, I whisper to myself while a blush creeps to my cheeks.</p><p>"Jealous much?" I send</p><p>Yusef;</p><p>Of her? Never in a million years. I'm way better. :/</p><p>Someone isn't so confident anymore, I think to myself. I'm snapped out of my phone by a yelling Haley.</p><p>"King, the path leads to something. C'mon, it's like a cave, c'mon!" She yells. Shit, she's found it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We need to get home, Haley. My mom is dying to see you," I try to say calmly without showing my worry.</p><p>"We just got here! C'mon, let 's go exploring. I bet you've hardly seen anything. It's just a cave. No harm done, right?"</p><p>"Right." I say. No, there is a lot of harm that can be done. This is Yusef's special place. He brought me here, to the pit. And here I stand, about to take Haley there. Fuck. I groan to myself. I didn't even know where this place was, let alone how to get here, so how the fuck did I? God must really not like me.</p><p>"C'mon, King!" Haley demands more than ask while being almost in the cave. I quickly follow down the so familiar stone path into the cave. I have no idea how exactly to get to the pit. Yusef did.</p><p>While we were in the caves narrow walkway of multiple tunnels, Haley pushed me up against a rocky wall and kissed me aggressively. I stood there in shock, not kissing back. This continued on for a couple minutes before she finally realized I wasn't reacting. In response, she tugged my hair and I kissed her back slowly trying to get her away from me by pushing her off gently. She held a tight grip on me and my hair, pushing her body closer to me. Her hand grazed my groin and went back to my hair. But no reaction down there occurred. The kiss broke off and I took that as my chance to break away from her. I pushed her off again this time succeeding before she could realize she hadn't gotten the reactions she would've wanted from me down there.</p><p>It's not that I'm not attracted to Haley, she was actually really nice. Nice boobs, nice ass, really aggressive and needy when it comes to sexual things. But I've always lacked interest. My lack of interest towards her that way seemed to grow in California and when I left it was at its peak and I was somewhat grateful I wouldn't see her everyday so she wouldn't be able to pounce on me in a janitor's closet. She's really desperate and needy for sex. God knows why.</p><p>"Come on, can we just leave?" I say while fixing my shirt.</p><p>"Am I ugly, King?"</p><p>"No." I began to look everywhere but her, feeling as if she's going to accuse me of being something I'm not and never will be, gay. I don't even know who I'm trying to convince more, myself or her at this point.</p><p>To my surprise, she dropped the conversation completely and we began walking down a path in the cave tunnels. Hopefully, we won't find the pit. I won't be able to bear with the guilt inside me if Haley finds Yusef’s<br/> special place he's only ever shown me. Wait. I scratch the back of my head in confusion and anger. What if Yusef hasn't only brought me here? What if he brings all his "guy friends" here? He lied. I know he did; he probably told Tyler the same thing. He probably brought Tyler and fucked him on the sand right next to the pit for fuck sakes. Anger rages through me and I don't even understand why. I feel Haley hand wrap around mine leading me down another stone path in the cave tunnels. Me suddenly not giving a fuck if he finds it or not.</p><p>YUSEF’S POV</p><p>I grunt loudly while tugging at my hair, while sitting in the center of the pit. Sand all around me and the water hitting the stones creating a peaceful harmony. Everything is always so calming here. It's such a nice place to unwind and let everything go. I've been her since Kings's mom caught me laying in bed with her son. I wonder if King remembers anything from last night. I wonder if he actually cares about what happened last night.</p><p>Parts of me wants to care about what happened, then parts of me are just telling myself to go fuck Tyler out of spite or reflex. But why spite? It's not like I have feeling for King. He's interesting, I'll give the kid that, but he's probably just like the rest of them. Confused, wanting to experiment, innocent. Just like Tyler is--well, was.</p><p>I sat there, staring at the way the water hit the rocks. Rethinking what King told me last night.</p><p>"My feelings towards you, they're different. They aren't right. They shouldn't be right, especially when I have Haley."</p><p>I cringe at the thought of this Haley chick. I bet she's some hoe he uses as a beard because he can't admit he's gay. It sickens me. I then think back to the messages. He's with her. I grab my phone out of my pocket to see if I got reply. Nothing. I'm actually kinda bummed. The thought of them kissing right now somewhere in his car makes me cringe again giving me this disgusting feeling in my stomach. I shake it off and ignore it completely.</p><p>My phone hums which means I got a new message.</p><p>Tyler; babe, when can we meet up again? Already missing those lips.</p><p>I can't help myself, but I also can't help the guilty feeling that lays over me while I text my response back.</p><p>"Soon, maybe in 30 mins? Swing by my place. Mums not home, key under the mat."</p><p>I grin at myself, knowing that Tyler would make all these confusing and reluctant feelings for Kkng flood away like a river. Only for a while, my mind retorts. Almost as if it's sending me a smack to the face.</p><p>Suddenly, there's a loud slam, but it isn't from the pit. It's from one of the path ways leading out to the narrow tunnels of the cave. My mind automatically knows someone's here and I get furious. No one's ever been her. No one. No one besides King. My mind taunts me. I don't even know why I brought him here. It was mostly out instinct. He was so angry at me, and I just wanted him to be happy. So I just brought him here, this place always seems to make me happy.</p><p>Another loud slam from the same tunnel path came in echoing throughout the pit. They were obviously kissing and about to have sex. Ugh. I can't even walk out because It'd be pretty awkward to walk by them making out. I just sat there in the center of my safe heaven, hoping and praying whoever was there would leave and not come any further down. Everything got quiet around me and I finally relaxed thinking they had left. Maybe they realized fucking in a cave isn't sanitary or right at all. I would never make love or even fuck here. Even though it looks oddly romantic in the pit from where I'm sitting and staring at everything from. I still would never. That's something way to intimate, and I'll never be the type. Intimacy is never my thing. Tyler knows that. Michael knows that. And all the others before them know that. I do 'em and diss 'em and that's how it's always been and how it always be.</p><p>I hear foot steps coming down the path and into the pit. Shit, maybe the people who were on the verge of fucking didn't leave. Anger grew in me. No one should be here. This is my place. No, this your place. King and your's, my mind mocks me.</p><p>King's POV</p><p>We both make our way down the path and I can hear the water hitting the rocks. Pushing up against them in every which way. It sounds soothing, peaceful. And at the thought of it, a million memories flood back from the day Yusef brought me here, the day we ditched together. Yusef  probably brings every guy here. My mind mocks and a sad whimper falls from my mouth. Luckily enough, Vanessa heard nothing and kept pulling me down the path.</p><p>We finally saw an opening down the path. The pit was coming up. The beautiful pit. When we finally reached the end of the tunnel, Haley's mouth flew open and yelped. She quickly pulled the camera lens off her camera and began snapping pictures in every direction, but then froze when her camera made contact with a brunette boy sitting in the middle of the sandy pit staring at everything, looking as if he was angry but absorbed in thought.</p><p>I knew that head of hair anywhere; it was Yusef. Guilt and worry filled me quickly. He's gonna hate me, and he's gonna kill me. Wait why do I even care? I'm pissed at him beyond compare. Luke finally looked up after a scream fell from Haley mouth from the sight of him from her camera.</p><p>To say Yusef looked pissed was an understatement when he stared at Haley and got up aggressively. Almost as if he was getting ready to hit her as he quickly walked up, next to the water. I braced myself for what was coming, what I knew I deserved. This was his place. His special place, and I should've tried harder to get Haley to leave with me. </p><p>"What the fuck are you doing here, with her?" Yisef shouted at the top of his lungs his voice echoing through the cave.</p><p>"She a, she a, sh-" I stuttered on my words, shaking. Yusef looked horrid. Angrier then I've ever seen anyone before.</p><p>"King, answer!" he yelled, anger obviously still in his voice, but you could tell he was trying to calm himself down and you could almost hear hurt in his voice? Hurt? Hurt.</p><p>"It was an accident," I stated, telling the honest truth. Lying would get me nowhere. "We drove here by accident, she found the tunnels paths and wanted to come. I'm sorry."</p><p>"No you aren't. You're little girlfriend. You guys were practical fucking each other against a stone wall. I heard you!" Yusef’s jealousy getting the best of him and began to become judgmental without even knowing the whole story.</p><p>"You'd fuck someone against a stone wall? In the pit, the peaceful pit, our place!" He shouted, his face softening and then quickly got red when he realized he said "our place." My eyes met his and he held a small smile. His anger obviously melting away due to our eye contact, but he was still very livid.</p><p>"Hi, I'm Haley. Nice to meet you."</p><p>Yusef didn't even fully look at her. "I know who you are and I don't want you here. And I especially don't want you fucking King in my place." Yusef made sure he didn't make that "our" mistake again.</p><p>Haley’s facial expression faltered and a sad smile came upon her face. I couldn't help but stick up for her even though every bone in my body was telling me not to.</p><p>"Don't fucking talk to her like that, Yusef." I said angrily while wrapping a protective arm around Haley. Yusef's eyes stared deadly at my arm and he grew angrier by the minute.</p><p>"You really don't remember anything from last night, do you? The important stuff? You remember none of it?" He said in a whisper, hurt clearly on his voice while he stared at my arm still around her sadly.</p><p>"I was drunk. You brought me home. Nothing more, nothing less." I felt Haley grip me tighter I was so gonna get it later for being drunk.</p><p>"No talking?" He asked.</p><p>"No talks. None at all." I stated.</p><p>"No contact?" He furows his brows signaling that he meant physical, but not physical as in sex.</p><p>"No," I lie clearly remembering us talking about Haley and how we were positioned in cuddles in my bed with his protective arms around me.</p><p>"Okay.." He trails off and steps closer to me. Directly in front of me. Haley just stairs angrily, clearly not knowing anything. My hands fell from Haley's hips as he steps closer, leaning his forehead against mine. "Sure?" He whispers and another faint memory comes flushing in from that night due to the contact of are for heads. <br/>*FLASHBACK*</p><p>"Damn right you're stupid. I've never felt like this towards anyone. You get my blood boiling to the highest level, and I never know what to do." I say my voice suddenly being lower.</p><p>Yusef comes close to and rests his hand on my cheek. Instead of being reluctant, I lean into his touch. All anger vanishing within seconds. I put my hands around his waist and pull him closer to me. So close that we're touching.</p><p>After minutes of silence he says, "You reek like alcohol." I suddenly grow really self conscious and push away only to be pulled back by him into his arms. I really love this feeling, the feeling of just being with him, even if I can hear all the loud punk music playing from downstairs.</p><p>"How much did you drink?"</p><p>"I stopped counting at the 13th," I say honestly.</p><p>"You know that was pure hard liquor, right? You're gonna be so sick tomorrow, and you probably won't remember anything." He trails off and silence falls.</p><p>"I feel like you like me better when you're drunk. Why don't you like me when your sober?"</p><p>"I think when I'm drunk, I gain a lot of confidence"</p><p>“Confidence " He questions.</p><p>"Yeah, I've been wanting to tell you off since Thursday. I just never had the nerve. I think I'm just afraid."</p><p>"Afraid of what?"</p><p>"My feelings towards you. They're different. They aren't right. They shouldn't be right, especially when I have Haley."</p><p>He smiles then rolls his eyes at the mention of Vanessa. I laugh and play with his hair. "You're cute when you're jealous." God, I have so much confidence.</p><p>"You're honest when you're drunk," he says a little too calmly. He leans close to my face to the point where our foreheads are touching. We both stare into each other's eyes. He gives me this look and then stares at my lips as if asking permission, but instead of answering, I crash my lips onto his. Our lips move in sync together, very slow and passionate. It feels so right, but Yusef pulls away with regret in his eyes. Regret?</p><p>*ENDS*</p><p>We kissed. The memory comes back vague, parts missing from the talking, but I know what he meant when he meant by contacts and talks, but it meant nothing to me. I lie to myself.</p><p>I shake my head no, lying again. He seems calm, in an emotionless state with my answer now and leaves without another word, well I thought. He quickly turns around and yells from the opening of the tunnel path me and Haley just came through minutes ago.</p><p>"I don't want either of you back here again." He states and leaves.</p><p>Haley turns to me confused.</p><p>"Who was that? What was he going on about? " She asked.</p><p>"Yusef, school bad boy. He's a lunatic. Crazy actually, quite stalkerish. He was one of the guys I got into a fight with at school," my heart sinking at the way I was talking about Yusef.</p><p>She nods "I hate him and you shouldn't have been getting drunk in the first place!" she states angry.</p><p>"Another time, not in the mood for lectures. It was one time, promise." I say.</p><p>"Fine." She leaves it at that even though I know she wants to ask a million more questions about Yusef and what he meant by everything. But obviously she doesn't. Maybe she's realized she's put me through enough for the day.</p><p>Haley takes a few more pictures of the pit and I sit where Yusef was seated when we had arrived and stare out at everything. Taking everything in one last final time. Yusef said he didn't want me back here. There was something behind his words that told me something differently or told me that there was more meaning behind it than just staying away from the pit.</p><p>Once Haley was done, I didn't wanna leave, but I didn't put up a fight. I said farewell to one of the best things I've experienced since moving down here. And I don't know what I'll miss more the pit, or the boy who brought me here. Because something told me Yusef  didn't want me in his life at all anymore and the thought of that being true tears me apart inside.</p><p>Haley and I walked hand in hand out the pit, through the tunnels, and to my car. As we walk, our fingers are intertwined with each other. I see her stare at our hands in delight from the corner of my eye. I can't help but feel disgusted with myself, and I can't quite pin point why. We're so close, with our hands held into each other, but I've never felt so far away from her in that moment. Ever</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Pretend 15 don’t exist this is the full 15</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="scrollable">
  <p>The drive home was long and silent. I really didn't know how to get to my house from the pit. Therefore, I couldn't help it at all when we got lost. During the whole thing, Haley sat silent. I was in no mood for her and I think she could tell by the way I raised my voice at her when she asked if I was lost in a mocking tone.</p>
  <p>I'm on edge. She's put me through so much today. She's re-opened wounds that I've been trying to keep hidden away. She accused me of being gay. She's ruined any possible chance of a friendship between Yusef and I. Luke. My stomach begin to churn as I pull onto my street still in thought, but still focused in the road ahead.</p>
  <p>My stomach still churning, the unwanted feeling forming in my stomach. My lips start to quiver, and a lump forms in my throat. I don't really know if I'm gonna let out a dramatic cry for Yusef or throw up. I pull the car on the side of the road. Haley shoots me a confusing look, but I completely ignore her and quickly get out the car. Once on the pavement, I throw up my guts. Well, not really, just the remaining acohol in my system. I slump down on the pavement, sitting on my bum when I'm finally done throwing up. My head suddenly feels lighter, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. When in reality, more weight was added. I sighed as my phone began to buzz. It buzzed once, but I ignored it, then again, and again. I groaned loudly and looked at my phone. Text messages from my mother. Typically, my phone buzzed again. This time it not being my mother, but Yusef.</p>
  <p>I ignored my mother's messages and swiped my finger across Yusef’s name on the screen.</p>
  <p>Yusef; I left my sweater. I'll be there around 10:30 to get it.</p>
  <p>I grew angry. I was supposed to go to his house at 10:30, now he'd only come to get his sweater and leave. No conversation with me at all. Maybe he just really didn't like me.</p>
  <p>I responded back. "so I can't come over at 10:30? Ya' know, to talk about last night. I don't remember a thing" I hit send and felt bad seeing that I remember most things but not everything.</p>
  <p>My phone buzzed again.</p>
  <p>Yusef; No you can't. There's no point it's a waste of breath. Yesterday never happened, we're not friends, we hardly even know each other. See you at 10:30.</p>
  <p>I knew I was right. There was way more hidden meaning behind his words at the pit. A lump grew in my throat again, this time not signaling throwing up. I brought my knees to my chest and held onto them tightly. I dropped my head on my knees and softly cried. I don't understand why I am crying. Who gives a fuck if Yusef wants nothing to do with me? Fuck him, I don't care. He's just some blonde white rich wannabe badass. <em>Shut up, King. You know exactly why this is hurting you</em>, my mind retorts. I push all those thoughts in the back of my heading because I know for a fact they're not true.</p>
  <p>My soft crying comes to a stop the minute I hear Haley call my name.</p>
  <p>"C'mon, King. I'm tired."</p>
  <p>"You're tired?" I mumble to myself so she can't hear me.</p>
  <p>I pick myself up off the pavement and wipe my face with my shirt to put up some type of act to show I wasn't just about to completely break out into full hysterics.</p>
  <p>I made my way back to the car in silence, completely avoiding the fact that I just threw up on the pavement.</p>
  <p>I pull the car off the side of the road and drive again. This time no stops, no talking. Dead silent. The only thing making noise are the cars around us on the street and the sound of us both breathing. I'm annoyed and shockingly hurt and I don't want to deal with anything or Haley anymore. I don't understand anything. I know I don't want to be with her, but I can't just break up with her. Especially not with her visiting.</p>
</div><p>My mother would have a fit. Haley's like the daughter she never had. I'm stuck in this middle. I wanna let go of my California life, the thoughts, the unwanted feelings, how I used to be, all of it, including Haley. I will break up with her, within time. For now, this is just how things are, and how they've always been. I think I've finally came to the conclusion that that's why we've been together all this time, back and forth. It doesn't benefit me, it befits my mother and it benefits Haley.</p><p>Finally, I pull into my street. I slow the car down as we get closer to my house. The sun is beginning to set and it looks nicely orange red outside. I park the car right in front of the house. Haley can hardly wait. She pushes the car door open and runs for the front door. I'm still sitting in the car not wanting to move at all. I see Haley banging at the door for a moment, while she stands their eagerly for my mom. My mother opens the door and begins to somewhat cry at the sight of Haley. She grabs her into a huge tight embrace and pulls her inside the house. When I see the door shut, I slink back into the driving seat.</p><p>My eyes shut, blocking out everything. Why is my life so difficult? <em>Because you can't accept who you are, </em>my mind simply states. I accept who I am. I accept the normal things of me. The things and thoughts of having a girlfriend, Haley at that. Marrying her, gaining my mother's aproval, making my mother unexplainably proud of me for being happy with my life with marriage down the line. The thing is, none of that will make me happy. That'll make my mother happy, even Haley happy.</p><p>I don't share lots of views on marriage, I mostly think it's a load of bullshit. Just take my mother and father's marriage. I sure is hell don't want to marry Haley. I refuse to let myself be stuck in this twisted relationship where I just feel nothing.</p><p>My phone buzzed again for the millionth time today. When I grabbed it out my pocket, a smile instantly came to my face. Yusef texted.</p><p>Yusef; "why are you in your car all alone?"</p><p>Wait what? I thought to myself. My phone buzzes again.</p><p>Yusef; "I see your confused look, it's cute. I'm not a stalker."</p><p>I look around the sidewalk to see Yusef walking towards my car. I reach over to the side and unlock the door instantly. He climbs in and I notice his ripped skinny black jeans and his white v neck hanging from his torso. Luke closes the door when he gets in and keeps his gaze straight forward. Minutes and minutes pass. We sit there in silence, but not the kinda silence me and Haley sat in the whole ride back. It was a comfortable silence, the type of silence I enjoyed when it came from Yusef being with me, I suppose.</p><p>He suddenly spoke up breaking the peaceful state I was slowly falling into.</p><p>"I'm sorry," I looked at him puzzled as he continued on, "for snapping at you at the pit. I didn't mean you couldn't go back there, well I guess I did. I was just upset you brought her there. I don't want her there. I don't like that dwarf(hehe)," he says with no type of remorse at what he just called Haley.</p><p>My mind and heart are having a battle within. One wants to stand up for Haley because she's my girlfriend, and the other is telling me to drop it and just explain myself. My heart won.</p><p>"I didn't take her there. I didn't even know how to get there. We just stumbled upon it. I swear, I wouldn't just bring her there. That's your place and I know it," I ramble, "and I sure as hell was not having sex with her. I haven't had sex with her, nor will I ever. I haven't even fucked anyone, and I probably won't for a while. She's just always needy and pouncing on me. You completely had the wrong idea." I finish off out of breath due to my ramble.</p><p>Yusef chuckled. "Really? Because it sounded like it." His voice got deep and emotionless almost showing that he was serious.</p><p>"Yes." I simply state while turning my gaze from the car parked in front of mine to him.</p><p></p><div class="scrollable">
  <p>"Ok, I believe you." He says. His head falls and I can't tell why.</p>
  <p>"I just don't like the idea of you fucking her," he says almost answering my thoughts. "The thought of you and her together that way just got to me. Especially if you were gonna do it in the pit; it's not fully sanitary." He jokes while laughing.</p>
  <p>"I wouldn't" I laugh along with him.</p>
  <p>"You really don't remember anything for last night?"</p>
  <p>"I got drunk, found your room. Somehow got home, you ended up their and from what I assume you took care of me in my drunken state then we cuddled up in bed," I say while smiling, purposely leaving out the kiss or the mentions of my feelings. I was drunk, nothing more to it.</p>
  <p>"Do you wanna know what happened?" He asks politely while finally looking at me. When he caught my smile, his seemed to grow. Which cause red to rise to my cheeks. Yusef reached his hand over and grasped my cheek causing me to lean in his touch. The warm feeling felt oddly familiar. Then it hits me--another thing that happened while I was in my drunk state.</p>
  <p>My smile grows wide, and my cheeks are now a rosy red. I almost forgot his question until he asked again while laughing.</p>
  <p>"Yeah, go ahead," I say hesitant because know more than half of what when on last night. Yusef's voice suddenly gets seductive, and he moves over from the passenger seat on to my lap straddling me. One leg on each of my sides. His arms around my neck, with one hand gripping my hair.</p>
  <p>I gulp at the contact, and my cheeks begin to turn a darker shade of red if that's even possible.</p>
  <p>Yusef brings his mouth close and starts to whisper.</p>
  <p>"Well first you came into my room..." His lips lingering around my ear. I bit my lip at the sound of his beautiful voice. "God knows how you found it, you just did. We talked, I held your cheek like this, and you leaned onto my forehead, and kissed me." Yusef lips grazed the top of my ear, and moved his head away from the side of my head to be staring at me directly. His hips started a circular motion on my lap increasing the pressure in my pants dramatically fast. I bit my lip again, but this time to hold in a moan that was dying to come out. Yusef saw the eternal struggle of my denying pleasure from him and leaned his forward onto mine. I had full control over what was happening, but I didn't wanna stop it at all.</p>
  <p>I placed my arms on his waist tightly making him shiver under my touch. He moved his hips more. Yusef stares deeply into my eyes. As he slides his finger on my bottom lip soft and slowly, gaining pleasure from my now distraught expression. He focused all his attention on my lips and the movement of his hips. My pants growing tighter when his bulge came into contact with mine. I couldn't take anything anymore.</p>
  <p>In that moment, I didn't care what my mother or The dwarf would've done if they saw me doing this right now. In this moment, I only cared about Yusef, and how much pleasure his teasing was causing me. In that moment, I didn't care if he was a boy or not. In that moment, I just wanted him.</p>
  <p>So I did what I never thought I would do if I wasn't drunk. The sad fact sinking. The fact that I wasn't drunk, and all these feelings were still here, here for Yusef. No they aren't, I try to battle my mind. This is nothing, just a heat of the moment thing. I slipped one of my hands under Yusef's shirt and rose my other to the back of his neck. The hand placed under his shirt moving around his torso drawing imaginary figures into his skin softly. He seemed to squirm under my touch. I wasn't sure if he was enjoying it or trying to get out of my grip. I had never done something like before.</p>
  <p>Yusef let out a low moan, and a smirk grew to my face knowing I was pleasuring him and gaining control. But almost to spite me, Yusef lowered and quicken his hip actions. Circulating faster, his bulge in full contact with mine, the both of them rubbing against each other. The pressure in my pants becoming unbearable to hide, I let out a loud moan in pleasure. Yusef seemed pleased with himself and quickened his actions if that was even possible. I began to pant, and moan his name. Someone likes to be the dominant one, I thought to myself.</p>
</div><p>"Yusef, I don't think this is what we did last night," I squeal while letting out a moan.</p><p>"You kissed me last night," Yusef whispers almost as if he doesn't believe the words he's spoken while breathing heavily. His sexual hip actions coming to a halt, while still straddling me with his arms around my neck, starring deeply into my eyes with a smug smile.</p><p>"I know," I simply say, staring back into his eyes and returning the smile.</p><p>"I wished this had happened last night," he says this time while blushing, burying his face in my shoulder, causing a laugh to escape my mouth. He swats at my chest while I place my arms around him. Holding him, and bringing him closer to my chest.</p><p>"Don't laugh! it's not funny," He says, still buried into my shoulder. I've never quite seen this side of him before and I really like it. So admirable, almost loving and shy. Three words I would've never used to describe Yusef before now.</p><p>"Yusef, look at me," I ask.</p><p>He shakes his head against my shoulder.</p><p>"Please," I say. He lifts his head up, right in front of mine, his arms still placed around my neck, blush still clear on his cheeks. I slide my hands up his back causing his breath to hitch a little. He bits his lip, while my hand simply wraps around his neck. I bring the other under his chin and lift his face closer to mine.</p><p>Yusef is staring at my lips. I'm growing scared of what I'm about to do. I was too drunk to realize what kissing him felt like. Maybe if I kiss him, everything I felt will go away. Maybe I won't think about him that way. Maybe it really will be a heat of the moment thing, I say to myself trying to justify my soon to be actions and my inner thoughts. Before I do anything, I stare around the car realizing the windows are steam fillied. You can't see anything outside, so maybe you can't see anything going on in here. I snap out of my paranoid thoughts and bring my focus back to Yusef.</p><p>His face is close to mine, our lips only a centimeter away. Yusef is staring into my eyes with such curiosity as to what I'm gonna do next. Suddenly growing confidence from Luke's innocent and fragile look, I push his lips on mine. At first, I don't get a reaction from him, but once I push my lips against his a little, the initial shock I suppose wears off, and he kisses me back. Soft, and gentle. Our lips move in sync with each other. Soft and gentle. Not getting too overwhelmed with ourselves despite our previous sexual actions. His lips are soft against mine, and I'm absolutely loving this feeling. The feeling of his lips on mine, the warmth that's radiating off him. I can't help but feel happy, while in a slow kiss with Yusef.</p><p>Suddenly, my mind comes back into play while I'm still kissing Yusef. <em>You're not drunk, King, you're really kissing Yusef, my mind retorts. What will your mom think? What will you think of yourself? What will Haley think? This isn't right and you know it. </em></p><p>My mind being too much to handle, I softly pull away from Yusef. He looks at me, confused.</p><p>"I'm sorry," I say in whisper already regretting it, for opening my mouth. "I just can't."</p><p>"Why are you so scared to like guys?" He asks. Just hearing the sentence makes me cry.</p><p>"I don't," I lie.</p><p>Yusef facial expressions changes completely. He looks at me the way he does when his friends are around; with disgust.</p><p>"So this meant nothing, right? I know it didn't, because I'm going to go fuck Tyler now," He states emotionless.</p><p>Anger grows in me. He almost seems pleased with my reaction, but says nothing. Yusef opens the driver seat door furiously. He removes himself off my lap, and stands on the street by the car fixing his clothes. I stare at him, questionably, but still with anger.</p><p>"I'm going to go fuck Tyler, like I did the night of the party before I came and played house with your confusing sorry ass!" He yells, "I want you nowhere near the pit, nowhere, especially with the whore of a beard you call a girlfriend. We're not friends, nor will we ever be!" He spits and turns on the heel of his sneaker, leaving me sitting there shocked. I want to say something, but I feel as if nothing will get him back. A pit grows in my stomach. Instead I stopping him, or even yelling at him, I just sit there and watch him leave. How could he go fuck Tyler? I should've known. Anger and sadness are boiling inside of me and I'm not sure which one I feel more.</p><p>The car door still open, the warm night air hits me. I glance at my phone, the time now being 10.</p><p>My feelings being on edge and a tangled mess. I feel prisoner to my own mind, my own thoughts. I push everything to the back if my mind like I've doing been for the past couple of years now. Having these thoughts aren't right, I shouldn't be having them, let alone acting on them. I can't be having these feelings and acting on them.</p><p>I push myself up off the driver seat and close my car door with a slam, very frustrated. My insides hurt. I lost Yusef completely. <em>That's just your heart hurting, you'll get over it</em>, my mind mocks at me. I begin my walk to the front door. I push through the door, and walk through the hallway.</p><p>I lift my head to see my mother and Haley bonding over God knows what on the internet. I ignore the both of them and head towards my room, not in the mood to face either of them. Fearing that if I even open my mouth, loud cries well escape me.</p><p>Once there, I pull my shirt off, then my pants. Before I climb into bed, something grabs my attention--Yusef’s sweater. I pull the black and white material over my head. The sweater clings to my skin causing me to hug myself and smile at the fact that it's Yusef's. Finally, I climb back into bed with the warmth of Yusef’s sweater.</p><p>I hear Haley’s soft steps come into my room and close the door. Haley tries to get me to roll over to the back of the bed, but I refuse to. This was Haley's side. I want to lay here, not the back. She climbs up on top of me and lays in the back, her back facing me. No type of contact is between the two of us.</p><p>I lay there hugging myself, wrapped in the warmth from the blanket and Yusef's sweater. After moments of deep thoughts about what I've got myself into, sleep slowly approaches me.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun is beaming through the window shining upon me, but that's not what woke me up at all. I pushed myself up against the headboard of the bed wiping sleep from my eyes. Once everything in my body had adapted to being awake, I focused my ears to what woke me up. The loud chatter, from what I assume was coming from the kitchen. Between my mom and Haley. They weren't being quite low and discreet at all.</p><p>I thought long and hard about getting up and entering the kitchen making it known that I am indeed awake. But after hearing my name, I decided against it completely.</p><p>"I'm worried about King." I heard Haley say.</p><p>"Lower your voice, dear. He might wake and hear you," my mother replied with. Little did she know I was already fully awake and eavesdropping with no shame.</p><p>"He won't. He came back in last night tired as ever. He'll most likely sleep in till noon," she says, lowering her tone a little but still loud enough for me to hear down the hall in my room with the door ajar.</p><p>"I'm worried about him too. The move, you know? He's never been good with moving in the past or very keen on it for that matter." My mother states, "He's been hanging around this Yusef kid and I can't help but get this feeling I used to get when he would hang around with Charlie all the time."</p><p>"I met him when I got here yesterday, brunette lanky fellow, right?" Haley ask.</p><p>"Yes. I hear things. I heard he's gay and his family is the richest family in the neighborhood. His parents ought to be ashamed to have such a high respected elite family, with a gay son as representation of them," My mother slurs and I can almost feel her eye rolls in her head from all the way out here.</p><p>When Haley said nothing, my mother continued to speak.</p><p>"I don't want him associating with the likes of them. The likes of those kids who've chosen that kind of lifestyle." She says, "I lost control over him in California when his father left us. That's when I noticed he began to latch on closer to Charlie than before, but he knows better, better than to go down that lifestyle path." She finishes anger clear in her voice.</p><p>"Charlie misses him, talks about him an awful lot. They were best mates," Haley says to try and calm my mom down.</p><p>Silence fills the air, and I assume my mother is in deep thought about the topic of Charlie.</p><p>"King isn't gay, Mrs. Areola (????), and besides, Charlie wouldn't have tried anything on King without his permission. Charlie always cared about King way too much to do something he didn't want to be done." The memories of me and Charlie began playing in my head like a movie. She was right. He never did anything I didn't want to do, but somehow he knew exactly what I wanted to do before I even knew I wanted to. Even though, back in those days and till this day I still refuse to believe any of my actual wants and needs.</p><p>"I shouldn't have let him hang out with that homosexual. I should've ended that friendship before it even began," my mother quickly says, but then continues on, "You're right. King isn't gay. I raised him right and look he's with a beautiful girl like you."</p><p>"He's nothing like his father at all, and never will be," she states, positive of her statement.</p><p>"Yeah, he isn't a homosexual. We know the real King," Haley says in what I think she thinks my honor.</p><p>"I still get a bad vibe from that Yusef kid. He was here Friday night. He was here with King in his bed. The sight made me wanna cringe in shock. I haven't fully questioned King because he seemed to not even know and I don't want to start off this move with him being reluctant towards me," my mother says.</p><p></p><div class="scrollable">
  <p>"Do you love' my son?" My mom asks Haley.</p>
  <p>"Yes, although sometimes I feel as if he can care less about me," she states truthfully. It was the truth nonetheless. You try dealing with that dwarf on a daily basis. It get so tiring after awhile to the point where it's like draining you of life and freedom. She's so clingy and needy, and there isn't an ounce of independent on her. She relies solely on people and what they think of her. It's just irritating. I lean my head against the headboard and press my back up against it as well to get somewhat comfortable while continuing to eavesdrop.</p>
  <p>"He loves you, I see it in the way he looks at you," My mother reassures her. Then it hit me. I can't remember the last time I looked at Haley and truly felt feelings or deep feelings. The feeling of love. I've been with Haley longer than I can even remember and I don't even remember exactly. I hadn't said I love you, I hadn't even felt it. So my mother shouldn't be speaking for me, filling her head with lies.</p>
  <p>"How long are you staying, dear?" My mother ask changing the  subject of Yusef and my so called love for Haley.</p>
  <p>"Just a couple days. Leaving Tuesday." Haley responds. Thank God! A sigh of relief slips from my mouth.</p>
  <p>"How's photography school going?" My mother asks.</p>
  <p>"Actually really great with the shots I got here. I'm thinking about entering a contest there when I get back. Winner gets their photos posted in a high fancy gallery." She says excitedly.</p>
  <p>"Good for you doll. I'm so proud of you. Just know I'm always rooting for you." My mother trails off, "Breakfast?"</p>
  <p>"Thanks, mom," She jokes and I hear my mother laugh genuinely.</p>
  <p>I hear shuffling and pans moving. Cabinets opening and closing. The two share small talk and I decide to sink back in my bed not ready to face them quite yet. I grab my phone to check my notifications. To my surprise, I had nothing, no messages. Not even one from Yusef. This unpleasant feeling grew in my stomach as I sunk deeper under the quilt of my bed.</p>
  <p>Who's my mother and Haley to judge Yusef? They don't know him; I don't even know him. No one does, maybe Ashton and Michael do, maybe even Tyler. I cringe at the thought of Tyler. I've always hated the kid. Since my first day of school on Thursday. Never trust men who wear uggs, never. He fucked Yusef and something deep inside me rumbled with anger. Just imagining them touching so intimately with each other made my skin want to crawl.</p>
  <p>I check my phone again in hope of some kind of message from anyone but to no prevail. No message shown. No type of notification actually. I laid deep in my bed, under the covers in Yusef’s side with his sweater clung to my chest.</p>
  <p>My phone read 2:30 when I had decided to check the time moments later. Where had the morning gone? I threw the quilt to the side of me finally deciding that it was time for me to make my appearance.</p>
  <p>I walked out of my room, down the hall passed the living room completely ignoring all the laughter and conversation flowing out of that room from my mother and girlfriend.</p>
  <p>I just wanted food, and a lot of it actually. I just wanted to shove everything in my face to get this unsure feeling out of me. I couldn't pinpoint what I was feeling, or what I was exactly feeling it for, but I wanted and desperately needed for it to go away.</p>
  <p>As I open the fridge, almost on cue Haley walked into the kitchen and wrapped herself from behind me.</p>
  <p>"Afternoon, babe," she whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.</p>
  <p>"Afternoon," I mutter back.</p>
  <p>"Hungry?" She ask with a huge grin on her face. I shake my head as in saying yes. She looks at me again with that huge grin and I shoot her a questioning look?</p>
</div><p>"What's the matter with you?" I demand.</p><p>"My boyfriend looks so cute and tired when he wakes up," She says while kissing me on the cheek. The thing being I've been awake since 11, this is just the natural look I'm going for today. Since it being Sunday.</p><p>"There's food in the microwave for you. Pancakes and bacon."</p><p>My mouth watered at the sound of bacon in the microwave. I shoved her away from me and went toward the microwave. I pulled out a stool from the table and sat down. Not waiting for any invitation of some sort, I shoved all the food in my mouth. I hadn't left the sight of my plate. A stack of pancakes laid upon the plate with 7 pieces of bacon. Something broke me from my concentrated stare of my food. I looked up to see a snickering Dearf move towards me and take the sit next to me.</p><p>"Maybe you should try to chew your food first before swallowing it down whole," she laughs.</p><p>I look at her wide smile and teary eyes and can't help but smile and laugh back. Causing me to choke on a piece of bacon I had taken it in whole. Making Haley laugh even more. I wrapped my hands around her waist and tightened my grip around her playfully making her look directly in my eyes from her stool next to me.</p><p>"Stop laughing. I'm hungry," I pout at her playfully still having a grip on her waist.</p><p>"It's cute, you're cute," She says while leaning into kiss me and I let her. The kiss was quick. I broke it off before she got the wrong idea. I slipped my hands off her waist and returned my focus back to my food. From the corner of my eye, I could almost see her sudden smile shift into a straight line.</p><p>After I was done eating, Haley and I stood in the kitchen catching up. Not many, hardly any smiles or laughs were said during are talk. But we were both caught up on what was going on in eachother lives. She went on and on about her photography school and some project she was entering. She told me she was entering the picture she took at the pit and my stomach turned. Suddenly, I wanted to vomit everything I had just ate.</p><p>Something inside me wanted to yell at her, and tell her not to enter those pictures. That she had no right to. I wanted to yell at her and tell her the pit wasn't her place, it was Yusef’s therefore, she had no right to show off pictures of its remarkable beauty. But then again, another part of me just wanted to keep shut and support her because I am her boyfriend. The boyfriend part overruled the other part.</p><p>I ended up shaking my head and wishing her good luck.</p><p>"I'm gonna miss you when I leave on Tuesday," She said with a small smile on her face while intertwining our hands.</p><p>"I'm gonna miss you too," I managed to say. It's not completely a lie, but it's not completely true either.</p><p>"Where did the day go?" She says while looking at the window across from us in the kitchen. Darkness covered the outside and had me thinking the exact same thing. Had we really been talking catching up that long? I think to myself.</p><p>My mother comes into the kitchen with curious eyes. She stared directly at our hands that are being held with our fingers intertwined and smiles mostly to herself. I drop my hand almost immidately not caring if Haley feels hurt or not.</p><p>"King, you have school tomorrow," She scowls me.</p><p>"It's not even late!" I remark rudely.</p><p>"It's 10:30 on a school night. And who do you think you're talking to with that tone?" She yells.</p><p>"You," I mutter back sarcastically "who else?"</p><p>"Go!" She yells.</p><p>I get up from my stool and throw my empty plate in the sink. It feels like just 5 minutes ago it's was 2:30 now it's 10:30? Maybe I really did spend a lot of time catching up with Vanessa.</p><p>Too annoyed to take a shower, I crawl back into bed on Yusef’s side. Haley comes into my room and crawling on top of me to the back of the bed. Not before she switched the light switch off making the room completely dark.</p><p>"Don't yell at your mom. She loves you, King," she says the through the darkness. I know for a fact she's scowling me. She hates when I'm rude to my mom more than my mom probably does.</p><p>"I'm sorry," I say not wanting to fight, suddenly being too tired for anything.</p><p>"Where has the day gone?" I whisper back to her after a few minutes of silences.</p><p>She chuckles, "You slept in most of the day, babe. Are you feeling okay?" She trails off.</p><p>"Yes, I'm fine, Haley," I say quickly. Wrapping my hand around her waist and pushing her into my chest.</p><p>"I love you, King. I'll always be here for you. Through anything." She states seriously.</p><p>For a minute, I actually believe that she would support me through anything, and everything but then reality slips back in and I remember this is Haley I'm thinking about. The most judgmental person on this planet besides my mother.</p><p>I simply answer with an "I know." Even though I don't believe a word she says. I kiss her on her head while tightening my grip on her waist. I rest my head next to her's on the bed and sleep fills the both of us within seconds.</p><p>~~</p><p>*BEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEP BEEP*</p><p>I turn to my side table by my bed annoyed with the world. I open my eyes and the sun coming from my window radiating around my room immediately making me shut them close. I roll off the bed and fall to the ground with a loud thump. From what I saw, Haley shot out of her bed so fast trying to find out what the noise was.</p><p>"It was me. Sorry, I fell," I say standing up reassuring her while turning off the still beeping alarm clock.</p><p>I went back to the bed and kissed her forehead.</p><p>"I'm going to shower then school. Are you gonna be fine with my mom all day?" I ask politely.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll mostly sleep in. I'm beyond tired. Have fun at school, babe." She says while slowly falling back to sleep.</p><p>I turn to the boxes to pick out an easy outfit for school. I really should unpack. Maybe it'll make things easier for me in the morning. I shake the thought remembering this living arrangement is only temporary.</p><p>After fighting with myself on what to wear, I go with a casual look. I pick out jeans with a hole by the knee and upper thigh with a white shirt, and my black and white converse.</p><p>I walked to the shower and turned the water on. I strip myself of my clothes, throwing everything to the ground except Yusef’s sweater. I neatly folded it and placed on the sinks granite countertop.</p><p>I stride into the shower and let the hot water hit me. Running down my entire body, making every muscle relax. The vanilla body wash was the closet thing I had found to soap, so I settled on that. Quickly, I washed myself up and was under the water once again rinsing myself up. As the water hit my naked body, I couldn't help it when my mind immediately went to Yusef.</p><p>Thoughts of him naked entering my mind. Thoughts of him grinding on me like he did in the car, but butt naked filled my mind. I slid my hands down my torso imagining they were his small soft hands grazing my body making goosebumps surface to my skin.</p><p>I snapped out of my thoughts when the water turned ice cold. Shit, I had used it all. Mom's going to kill me when she finds out. I turn the shower off and get out. What was I even thinking? I don't want Yusef to do any of that nor will I ever want to.</p><p>I think your length begs to differ, my mind retorts. I look down to see a throbbing hard length dangling straight. Shit. I didn't find any of those thoughts pleasuring, at all. I was picturing Haley in my head, I lie to myself to justify what had just taken place within my mindset.</p><p>Swiftly, I get dressed and I'm out the door. Suddenly not feeling the mood for breakfast at all. I get in my car and drive to this hell hole I call school.</p><p>The ride there had seem to shorter than usual for my liking. Then, when I finally pulled into the parking lot, it hit me. God really must hate me. I parked my car closest to the front door as possible only to get a clear view of the show that was taking place out in front of Yusef’s car. My hands gripped the steering wheel angrily.</p><p>There Yusef stood in front of the hood of his car with Tyler pressed against it, with their lips together furiously in a deep make out session. I gripped the steering wheel tighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Both boys stood there in front of Yusef’s car for what could've seemed liked hours but was really a few minutes. If Michael hadn't come and stopped them, they probably would've fucked right there in front of the whole damn school. My skin began to shiver under the discomfort of such a thought. I'm still shocked that Yusef fucked Tyler twice. I don't understand why. Parts of me don't want to care at all. I shouldn't give a damn if he fucks Tyler. But other parts of me do. Other parts of me just want to cry endlessly just sitting in my car thinking about it. And I don't know why. I can't feel this way and I refuse to allow myself to.</p><p>I sat in my car just staring at what was taking place in the front of the parking lot. Michael came along and practically pulled Yusef off of Tyler. I smiled to myself when his action caught my eyes. For some reason, I knew Michael was my favorite in that moment. When Yusef was pulled off of Tyler, he quickly patted down his clothes, putting them back down into place. He wrapped his arm around Tyler's waist and anger quickly boiled inside of me. I hate Tyler. I hate him more than I have ever hated anyone. My hands on the steering wheel finally released from the grip they held due to anger. Color returning to my knuckles, my anger was still clearly inside of me. What snapped me from my intense state of the boys in front of me was the buzz of my phone. I fumbled looking for it, forgetting which of the four pockets I actually stuck it in.</p><p>Finally when I found it, I realized it was a text message from Yusef. I swiped my finger across the screen to read it. Heat immediately rose to my cheeks.</p><p>Yusef; I know I'm hot, but quit staring, would ya? ;)</p><p>I looked up from my phone and to the group of boys who were in front of the school parking lot. But to my surprise, I saw a cheeky Luke grinning at me widely.</p><p>Happiness shot through me like a ray of sun, but then quickly faded when I realized he was still mad at me and his arm was still firmly on Tyler's waist. I'm assuming he caught sight of my eyes and removed his arm from Tyler's waist but still stood close. Tyler's face fell at the loss of contact and a small smile grew on mine.The group began talking, and I was way too far to hear a word they were saying. So instead of staying in my car like the sad deranged teenager I am, I decided to get out and head to my locker, not knowing at all what the day had in store for me.</p><p>LUKE'S POV</p><p>Michael is still going on and on about my birthday party. He's angry at the fact I left without notice in the middle of it and I couldn't honestly give two fucks. My eyes roam around the parking lot, scanning everyone, taking in everything in sight when suddenly before my brain can catch up, my eyes stop on a specific car. King's car. I see his intense stare in my direction and I wonder if he sees me looking at him.</p><p>I grab my phone and quickly send him a text. I laugh to myself when I see him scrambling for his phone. Once found, his cheeks turned a bright crimson red while he brought his gaze back up to me. I sent him a grin in return, while shaking my head. I saw the sudden emotional change in his face and shot him a puzzled look. Then it hit me. I was mad at him, pissed at him actually. God knows what the fuck he's thinking in his mind about me. But I want to know what he's thinking. But King's a coward. An in-denial coward and that's how he'll stay. Besides, I don't need him nor do I want him. "I beg to differ"," my mind retorts.</p><p>Suddenly, I realize what his gaze is so fixated on, my arm. My arm placed roughly around Tyler's waist. Do I see jealously? No, anger. Most definitely anger. I don't give a fuck, but something is telling my body to move my arm, so I do. Meanwhile, Michael is still yelling at me while I keep sneaking glances at King. I see him get out of his car and walk inside casually, probably to his locker or first period math.</p><p>My gaze on him is so intense until the the sudden movement of Michael hitting my shoulder snaps me back to reality.</p><p>"What?" I say annoyed.</p><p>"Are you going to tell us where you ran off to the night of your party?" he asked rudely while playing with Ashton's hair.</p><p>"No. It doesn't concern you at all," I say.</p><p>"Were you out fucking some new guy in your life?" Ashton asks while laughing. I can immediately feel Tyler tense up next to me. But me being me, I don't give a damn and answer.</p><p>"Something like that," I say while smiling, memories of everything that happened in King's room flowing back in to my mind like a river.</p><p>"Must be someone special. You got that stupid smile of yours on. Yusef's a goner," Ashton says while nudging my shoulder in a playful manner.</p><p>Out of all the boys, Ashton seems to know me more than I know me. Out of all of them, he seems to care the most. Me and Ash actually did meet first. He introduced me to Michael later on, but we didn't get along quite well at all. He still probably hates me for what I did in sophomore year, but he'll never admit to it or the truth behind it. I wiped the stupid smile off my face and play into the role I play best--an asshole.</p><p>"Nah, he was just a good fuck."</p><p>You know King wasn't a fuck at all and even if he was, he wouldn't just be a fuck, my mind practically slaps me in the face with that.</p><p>When my words came out, Tyler stormed off to God knows where.</p><p>"You got your boyfriend mad again," Michael jokes.</p><p>"He isn't my boyfriend. You of all people should know that I don't do boyfriends and I most certainly don't give a damn," I say coldy. Michael's face falls, but he quickly regains his humored expression from a moment ago.</p><p>"When do you think he'll have enough of your shit and stop coming back?" Ashton says while smirking.</p><p>"I don't know. He's just there when I need him," I respond.</p><p>We all walk towards the school to get to the lockers before math. There was an awkward silence between us all.</p><p>"I just don't see Tyler and I ever getting serious. Or me getting serious with any guy if I'm being honest," I say to somehow lighten what I said about Tyler before.</p><p>"Ain't that the truth," Michael spits and walks ahead quickly leaving me and Ashton behind walking into school.</p><p>"What's got up his ass?" I remark.</p><p>"You know he's still very sensitive about you."</p><p>I laugh. "Michael? Sensitive? Are we talking about the same guy, Ash?" I ask, humor clearly in my voice.</p><p>"Yes, you know he is. You know when you did what you did and dropped him for Tyler that it hurt."</p><p>"I didn't drop him for Tyler. Tyler came to me. Remember?"</p><p>"Yes, but you could've stayed with Michael."</p><p>"Michael isn't my type. Things were getting way too serious for my liking anyway. He was a good fuck though," I say half heartedly.</p><p>"One day, I have faith you'll find someone that'll make you cut your bullshit," Ashton says bluntly. "Maybe you'll actually be capable of love."</p><p>"Maybe, but highly doubtful," I say while hitting his shoulder to ease his mood. This conversation went into a completely different direction than what I had intended it to.</p><p>Ashton and I walk down the hall to Michael's locker. It's actually funny how Michael so happened to have King as a locker neighbor. The two of them stood there right next to each other looking dead into their lockers. Michael hates King more than he hates Tyler and I never actually understood quite why.</p><p>Looking in their direction, I couldn't help but notice that the two boys where whispering to each other, but about what? They both immediately stopped when Michael turned and saw Ashton and I coming toward them.</p><p>Anger rose in me. What the hell were they talking about? Michael hates King. Why would he be conversing with him?</p><p>Luke, you're being a jealous asshole. King is entitled to have friends, my mind makes fun of me. Yeah, he's entitled to friends, just not friends like Michael. Or any guy friends at all. He shouldn't be whispering to any guy by their lockers.</p><p>I ball my fist at my sides trying to control my anger. But why am I angry, I think to myself. Why? My mind eases when I realize I'm getting angry over nothing. Maybe they weren't talking. Maybe I was just seeing things wrong, I say trying to convince myself.</p><p>Ashton and I finally make it to the lockers and I lean against Michael's. Michael and Ashton are in deep conversation about what they're going to do to make Tyler feel better due to my recent "hurtful words." I don't even think my words were that hurtful to be honest. He's just way too fragile. While the two are lost in conversation, my eyes seem to roam everywhere around us, obviously not caring about the conversations. My eyes grow wide when I reach sight of Kings next to me fumbling with things in his locker. He looks so innocent and I can't help it when my eyes roam the back of his body up and down, landing on his bum.</p><p>I look up to Ashton and Michael to see what they were doing. They stood a few feet away from the lockers, still in an annoying conversation about Tyler. I took this as my chance to get a rise from King. I lifted my back off the locker and leaned on it on my side. I slipped my hand in his bum pocket rubbing softly and moved my lips to his ear.</p><p>"You like that?" I ask innocently. Well, as innocent as I can be when I was rubbing his ass.</p><p>His breath hitches and he nods.</p><p>"I'm still pissed at you," I say into his ear, squeezing his bum.</p><p>I remove my hand and I hear a small whimper escape his mouth from the loss of contact.</p><p>I laugh and speak again. "You're cute when you're flustered, baby."</p><p>"I thought you were mad at me?" he asks, "I thought we weren't even friends?"</p><p>"We're not nor will we ever be," I say emotionless even though that was the last thing I wanted for us.</p><p>The words that escaped his mouth next shocked me more then anything. "You're a fucking asshole, Luke. I'm not gay, so stop whatever it is you're doing. I have a girlfriend, Haley who I love deeply. And I wouldn't want to be your fucking friend if you were the last person on this earth if I'm being completely honest," he spats while looking back into his locker. His words were shaken, like they were forced out. I knew he was lying. I'm not sure if he was lying about one part in particular or all of it, but I knew something was a lie.</p><p>Me being me, I just spat back, "I beg to differ, King."</p><p>"You come onto me all the time," he states.</p><p>"Don't act like you don't like it!" I retort.</p><p>We're both interrupted from our whispered conversation when Ashton begins asking me questions about Tyler on the night of my party. Shit. King quickly goes back to fumbling for things in his locker.</p><p>"You really fucked Tyler the night of your part Yusef ?" Ashton asks curiously.</p><p>"Yeah. He was there and I hadn't fucked him for two days right before. We were both overdue," I say immediately regretting it when I see King’s face fall. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know if it's with Tyler, me, or me and Tyler. But honestly, he has a girlfriend who he "loves deeply" apparently so who I fuck shouldn't concern him.</p><p>King slams his locker door and walks towards the math class leaving a shocked face on Michael and Ashton's face.</p><p>A part of me wants to run to him and tell him how I couldn't stop thinking of him while I was in Tyler. How I only did it to rid him from my thoughts. But I decided against it. As much as I wanted to do it, I couldn't. Not when Michael and Ashton are giving me death stares to explain King’s sudden outburst.</p><p>I held a sad expression, but made it quickly fade for my next act.</p><p>"That new guy's is fucking weird," I state believably.</p><p>"You didn't...?" Ashton trails off.</p><p>"No, I would never. I do have some standards," I say. Liar, you know you would, my mind fights against me.</p><p>Ashton's face softens while Michael still sends me a death glare. I try to look anywhere, but him, almost feeling as if we share eye contact, he'll be able to tell everything that's happened this past weekend.</p><p>"Let's go to math before we're late. I hate Denton," Michael says drilling his death glare.</p><p>The three of us walk into math and take our usual seats. King still isn't here which is weird because he left the lockers way before we did. Worry begins to fill me. Where the fuck is this kid?</p><p>Tyler storms in the classroom, and Mr. R shoots him a confused look, but once tyler stared at me intensely, Mr. R seemed to drop his whole confused expression. Almost as if he knows I've done something again. I laugh at the whole thing and lay my head on my desk.</p><p>I didn't look up 'till I heard a body take the empty desk next to me. Luckily for me, it was Tyler. I groan loudly. I don't want to deal with him at this moment. I shouldn't have fucked him, but I did, and I'll sure as hell do it again.</p><p>Michael sat in the seat in front of Tyler and Ashton in front if me. There was only one empty seat left. So if Kkng did decide to make an appearance in math, he'd have no choice but to sit next to me.</p><p>"So, how was everyone's weekend?" Mr. R asks while looking at me. Before I could even answer him, King walked in, red in the face like he had been crying? What? No. Not possible.</p><p>"Oh, hi. Nice for you to join us, King." King shook off everyone's gaze on him and took the seat next to me with no remorse.</p><p>"As you were saying, Yusef? How was your birthday?" he asks politely.</p><p>Mr. R is my favorite teacher. He treats us kids with respect and like adults, but maybe that's because he's rather young for a math teacher.</p><p>"It was fine. Just had a party. The usual," I state.</p><p>"Party of the year!" a guy chants from the back and everyone yells in agreement around the classroom. Someone raises their hand in front of me and I quickly stand for a high five while getting back to my seat, grinning widely.</p><p>The atmosphere was fun while it lasted. Everything was going fine 'till someone randomly yelled, "Yusef got some birthday sex from King and Tyler. I saw them both leaving his room after one another."</p><p>King began to choke next to me, but after another one of his coughs, the room was silent and no one had known who the accusation had actually came from.</p><p>No one said anything. King stopped coughing and the room was completely silent. I had an image around the school, that player image. It wasn't unusual for people to know I've fucked other people while talking to Tyler, but it was another thing to say it around him. Tyler was so clingy and made everything out of proportion. So when he heard the accusation, it took him at shock, but what was going to happen next wasn't a surprise at all.</p><p>Tyler stood in front of his desk, practically fuming.</p><p>"They didn't fuck! King was a drunken mess at a party he wasn't even wanted at or invited to at that. I fucked Yusef, and boy, did he like it."</p><p>Everyone's laughter fills the once silent room. They weren't laughing at Tyler. They were laughing at King. And the thought made my heart hurt. I wasn't going to say anything. I was going to keep my mouth shut. But once I caught a glimpse of King and his hurt, sad, embarrassed expression, I had already knew exactly what I was going to do. It was a battle against my mind and heart and my heart did indeed win.</p><p>I coughed a little, which made the room grow silent again. I waited 'till it was at least quiet enough for me able to speak softly.</p><p>"In my opinion, if I'm being quite honest, you weren't that good of a fuck. Not good at all." Laughter fell again this time directed to Tyler. Tyler's face fell, but he quickly gained his confidence back.</p><p>"Then why did you come back to me Saturday?" He asks, confidence oozing out of him, obviously pleased with himself. The room grew silent. People knew better than to laugh at me. Mr. R stood staring at the top of Michael's desk clearly enjoying the show. And that is why he's my favorite teacher.</p><p>I stole a glance at King next to me. I could almost physically see how stiff he was compared to few seconds ago before Tyler mentioned me fucking him.</p><p>I finally answered, "Because Tyler, you're always there. You're so pathetic. You allow me to treat you like shit and you always come back. I feel bad for you, really."</p><p>OOOHHHs fill the classroom and that's when Mr. R decided to get involved.</p><p>"Okay class, let's get settled now." Tyler took his seat in his desk next to me again.</p><p>I laugh to myself. He would tell us to settle down after everything is done.</p><p>"Take your textbooks out. Turn to page 394, exercise 5 is due at the end of the period."</p><p>Everyone groaned at the assignment. I went to look to King next to me to see he was already staring at me. My eyes met his and we both shared small smiles. We didn't have to speak to one another. His eyes clearly said everything about what just happened and what he wanted to say to me. "Thank you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>KING’S POV</p><p>When the bell rang signaling math was over, I ran out of the class and to English in one swift movement. I honestly wanted to be anywhere but school. I'm sitting here in English not caring two shits about the Shakespeare we're reading. English is the worst subject of them all and it's the only non-honors class I take since I'm really horrible at it.</p><p>I couldn't even focus on the article we were supposed to be analyzing. I had way more important things on my mind. Thoughts of the events that occurred more than 60 minutes ago flooded my mind. Tyler is obviously a clingy, jealous ass, fucking prick. I can't stand him and the way he latches himself onto Yusef. Yusef doesn't even like him, I would assume. I don't even know why I didn't stand up for myself back there. I should've spoke my mind and told his stupid ass off. "<em>But you didn't</em>," my mind chimes in. But why? Why hadn't I? I had no idea why. When Tyler words escaped his mouth, they instantly made grow weak with sadness even though his words were nothing but lies.</p><p>Yusef did want me there. He invited, practically begged me himself, to go. Too bad no one knew that. The weak feeling of sadness began to creep on me again.</p><p>"<em>Don't you ever wonder why Yusef didn't tell anyone he invited you?Because he's embarrassed of you,</em>" my mind says as I wonder stupidly why Yusef told no one. My mind was right for once. I wasn't necessarily "cool" enough to hang out with Yusef, I guess. I wasn't cool, but I wasn't an outcast either. People distant themselves from me for being the new kid and the new target of Michael, Tyler, Ashton, and yusef.</p><p>Am I Yusef’s target? I wonder to myself. There are times where we act like normal friends, times when he's trying to be flirty and <em>you secretly like it,</em> my mind mocks. And times when we're at each other's throats. I don't understand why I overanalyze my life's problems and the people in it when I should be analyzing this damn Shakespeare article.</p><p>Books falling to the ground next to me completely snapping me out of my distraught state of mind. I look to the side of my desk to see what exactly has happened. I see a curly haired brunette-headed boy bending over in his chair to pick up his fallen book, but failing miserably. Me being me, I bend over and pick it up for him. Our fingers brush, but I feel nothing. His skin is cold against mine and I quickly look up with the book in hand.</p><p>He looks up and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose preventing them from falling. He shoots me a thankful smile when he realized I picked up his book.</p><p>"You dropped this, man," I say kindly while handing the book to him.</p><p>"Thanks. I couldn't get it and I didn't want to fully get up," he says while pushing himself up in his chair properly again. "I'm Jin, by the way. Jin ???," He coos while shooting me another bright smile.</p><p>"I'm King, King Areola," I say while shaking his hand.</p><p>"I know. You're the new kid."</p><p>"That's my rep around here, isn't it?" I laugh quietly not wanting to get the teacher's attention.</p><p>"Yeah, that and for being Yusef’s  new boyfriend. I hated Tyler anyway. He's an asshole. You're better for Yusef," Jin says like it's nothing and the most easiest thing that has ever escaped his mouth.</p><p>My face falls. "I'm not gay. Yusef  and I are not even friends, let alone dating," I say sadness evidently clear in my voice. <em>We all know one of those is a lie and the other two you wouldn't mind happening</em>, my mind mocks me.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry. That's what's just going around," he says apologetically. "If it makes you feel any better, you'd be too good for Yusef anyway. Guy's an asshole at times, especially when around his friends."</p><p></p><div class="scrollable">
  <p>"Yeah. I never know what's his problem when he's around them," I say truthfully.</p>
  <p>"You'd be better off without him," Jin’s says, "He's trouble."</p>
  <p>"So I'm told. I hate Tyler, too, by the way."</p>
  <p>"Don't pay attention to him. He gets overly protective of Yusef when in reality, Yusef  doesn't give a damn about him."</p>
  <p>"I'm guessing you know what happened in math today, huh?" I ask.</p>
  <p>"Yeah. Everyone does. Word travels fast," he smiles.</p>
  <p>Before I could respond back, I see a girl with null black eyes, the brown surrounding the black as the light reflects off it, right next to Jin. She's glaring at me and I look at her confusingly. Jin soon realizes that I'm looking beside him and shifts his body to look next to him. He laughs and sighs out loud when he sees the glare in the girl's eyes, clearly directed towards me.</p>
  <p>Jin turns back to me and says, "This is Rhianna, my girlfriend. She thinks I'm gay," he laughs a little with a hint of him feeling annoyed.</p>
  <p>"I know the feeling," I say, relating the situation to Haleu and I's recent relationship problems. Harry just laughs in response.</p>
  <p>Rhianna's cheeks flush a deep red and she slumps down in her seat, clearly embarrassed. Make sense why she would be mad. She thinks Jjn’s gay and assumes he probably likes me, which isn't any of my business if he decides to be. Besides, I'm not gay and if I was, I wouldn't like him. <em>I</em>? my mind yells to me.</p>
  <p>"I'm King," I whisper as a response. "I'm not gay," I laugh a little.</p>
  <p>She straightens up a little. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says softly.</p>
  <p>"It nice to meet you," she waves off.</p>
  <p>"Same to you," I say. We're silenced by the bell ringing. Signaling lunch. Finally.</p>
  <p>A whole two periods wasted. I've done nothing the last 60 minutes. My grades are going to look so beautiful this semester, I bet.</p>
  <p>I get up throwing all my things into my book bag not caring whether the article gets damaged or not. I got up to see Jin and Rhianna wrapped in each other's arms holding one another. Jin’s chin directly on Rhianna's head with Rhianna whispering things into his chest while he holds the goofiest smile.</p>
  <p>"Aww. And yet you think he's gay?" I think out loud with a laugh.</p>
  <p>Rhianna laughs and removes herself from Harry and punched Jin’s shoulder. There we stood in the back of the classroom awkwardly, 'till Jin spoke.</p>
  <p>"Wanna come to lunch with us?" he asked kindly, while Rhianna instantly brightened at the suggestion.</p>
  <p>"Yeah, c'mon, Bitch!"</p>
  <p>I smile at the usage of the nickname.</p>
  <p>I've never actually been to the cafeteria, or have actually been in a school for a lunch period. Plus, with all the recent public humiliation events that have occurred, I don't think I wanna face everyone in this school alone. They'll all know what happened in Math today, and I'm sure the fighting on my first day couldn't have died down yet. Not in such a small school, in a small town where everyone knows everyone's business 'till the next screw up occurs. Then it hits me. Yusef’s party. Everyone will be talking about the party on Friday rather than me so maybe it won't be too bad I try to convince myself.</p>
  <p>I'm snapped out of my deep thoughts by Jin hitting my shoulder with his science textbook.</p>
  <p>"Owww," I whine while rubbing my shoulder, snapping out of my thoughts.</p>
  <p>"Is that a yes or no?" he asks while laughing.</p>
  <p>Going against what my mind says, I respond with, "Yes, I'm starved."<br/><br/></p>
  <p></p>
  <div class="scrollable">
    <p>The three of us walk out the classroom and try to navigate through the crowded hallways. Small talk fills the awkward silence between the three of us.</p>
    <p>"So, what made you move to Amsterdam, of all places?" Rhianna asks curiously</p>
    <p>"Mom's work. She's a writer. Some crazy inspiration thing hit her about a week ago and she decided to pack us up and move out here. It was suiting for her though. The divorce between her and my father was finally finalized, so I guess she felt like moving was a good thing," I ramble off, "I think that's her real reason for moving if I'm being honest. Maybe she needed a new start. I am quite sick and tired of moving, though."</p>
    <p>"You've moved a lot in the past?" Jin chimes in.</p>
    <p>"Yeah. A lot, actually. She always picks us up and moves whenever she comes up with different ideas involving different places for writing. It's really irritating, actually."</p>
    <p>"Well, hopefully, this is your last stop," they both say in unison while sharing wide smiles and playfully glaring at each other, Jin’s was more of a peaceful stare while Rhianna looked like she’d kill him, odd but lovely.</p>
    <p>"Hopefully."</p>
    <p>"You'll like it here, anyway. This isn't such a bad place, besides those four hooligans that have decided target you," Rhianna says, obviously referring to Michael, Ashton, Tyler, and yusef.</p>
    <p>The thing is I don't think Yusef is really targeting me. He shows up when I least expects it, even shocks himself sometimes with me. Like today, when those words came out of his mouth towards Tyler, I knew they were to trying to ease the attention away from me, but I could easily tell Yusef didn't fully know how or why he was doing it himself, and neither did I. Yusef isn't all bad. Not at all. Some people just need a little light in their life. Pure light. And that's what I think Yusef  desperately needs.</p>
    <p>Making our way to huge doors, the conversation about the four boys doesn't continue. Mainly because I never responded. It wouldn't feel right, talking bad about Yusef, especially after his events of trying to help me in Math. But, then I realize what he did today by the lockers, completely being a bipolar ass to me. Always touching me in ways I shouldn't like. That I don't like. <em>You do like,</em> my mind laughs.</p>
    <p>We push through the doors and a line is immediately shown in the cafeteria. We take our places and wait for the line to move. The line seems endless, but the aroma of the food ahead is beautiful. Just the smell of it makes my stomach growl in anticipation.</p>
    <p>Thankfully minutes later, we reached the red trays and lined sorted food platters. Quickly not caring at all what anyone's going to think, I grab two slices of pizza and fries. Jin does the same except three slices of pizza and double the fries, excitement written all over his face. Rhianna looks in our direction and snorts at the sight of our trays. She grabs a small chicken salad and cuts in front of us, paying first. Jin and I pay, and Rhianna leads us both to a empty table off to the side of the cafeteria. You can practically see the whole scenery from here despite the fact it was secluded on the side.</p>
    <p>I scan the lunch room to see if anyone's attention is on me and I thank the heavens above that no one's eyeballing me. I hear kids all around discussing Yusef’s party and I chuckle because I hardly remember the actual party.</p>
    <p>"Did you really not get invited to Yusef’s party?" Jin asks from beside me while eating his pizza slice with one hand and the other grabbing Rhianna’s and intertwining their fingers from across the table. Rhianna smiles at the gesture and snaps open a water bottle, taking a sip.</p>
    <p>"No. Yusef invited me himself. Guess he just didn't want to tell his friends."</p>
    <p>Rhianna chokes on her water in shock and Jin looks at her worried as she coughs it off.</p>
  </div>
  <p>"What kind of friends would we be if we weren't?" She questions.</p>
  <p>Friends? Are they my friends? Do I actually have friends? Don't overthink this, King, before they unfriend you, I think to myself.</p>
  <p>I nod while laughing.</p>
  <p>The bell rings signaling lunch is over. Jin ended up finishing his whole tray while I just had a few fries left over. We dispose of our trays by the garbage and I feel someone squeeze my bum. I feel breathing on my neck and lips graze my ears. "Sexy, innocent King," the all too familiar voice of Yusef whispers in my ear. My breath hitches and heat rises to my cheeks again. He removes himself from next to me and vanishes without a trace. I try and remove any type of thought about Yusef. Those thoughts aren't right. They aren't accepted by anyone. And I sure as hell can't be having them about Yusef of all people, especially when I have Haley.</p>
  <p>"You okay, Dude?" Jin asks.</p>
  <p>"Yeah." I assume neither of them saw what Yusef did, but I'm not surprised at all.</p>
  <p>I departed from Jin and Rhianna, heading in the opposite direction of them to science class. It actually felt really good to have actual friends. Maybe this whole move thing won't be as bad as it has been. <br/><br/>~~</p>
  <p>Science class came and went. So did music. Now, I'm walking to my car because school is over and I couldn't feel more at peace with myself. While I was walking towards my car, there was something I couldn't quite grasp. I usually have music with Yusef , and yet he didn't even show today. Parts of me were worried, and other parts told me not to give a fuck. I had to explain to myself that Yusef is no good, these feelings are no good, and we aren't even friends for me to be caring.</p>
  <p>Going against everything my head was telling me, I shoot Yusef a quick text while getting into my car.</p>
  <p>"Hey, why weren't you in music today?"</p>
  <p>I received a text message seconds later.</p>
  <p>Yusef; miss me babe? x</p>
  <p>But while I was texting, a response another message came in.</p>
  <p>Yusef ; I see you in your car can you drop me off home? I don't have a ride.</p>
  <p>And another.</p>
  <p>Yusef; Please sexy?</p>
  <p>I finally text back, really going against everything in my body and all the little voices in my head.</p>
  <p>"Sure. I'm in the parking lot."</p>
  <p>I get a text message a second later.</p>
  <p>"I know I see you."</p>
  <p>I stare up from my phone, looking through the car windows to see if I can see Yusef, but nothing. He was nowhere.</p>
  <p>Suddenly, I heard loud banging coming from my rearview window. I jumped at the sound only to be met by a laughing Yusef with his phone pressed on the window. I slump down in my seat feeling relief and embarrassment for acting so jumpy. He comes across and opens the passenger seat door and lets himself in.</p>
  <p>"Your face was priceless. You were so scared," he says while laughing in between words. His face is red and he's breathing heavily.</p>
  <p>"Shut up. You scared the shit out of me!"</p>
  <p>"Aw, what you think was gonna come get ya?" he laughs in a mocking tone. I stay quiet, heat rising to my cheeks for what feels like the millionth time today out of embarrassment.</p>
  <p>"Aw, babe. Relax. While I'm around, nothing will ever hurt you," he says with a straight face and serious tone.</p>
  <p>I put the keys in the ignition and drive to Yusef’s house.</p>
  <p>~~</p>
  <p>We're a street away when I finally decide to break the comfortable silence between us.</p>
  <p>"Didn't you have your car today? Why'd you need a ride?" I ask, remembering him and Tyler kissing pressed against a car this morning. My face grows sour and he seems to take notice in it quickly.</p>
  <p>He rests his hand on my knee while I pull onto his street.</p>
  <p>"Tyler means nothing to me," he states, completely avoiding my question. My expressions lightens at his words nonetheless and I send him a grateful smile for attempting to make me feel better.</p>
  <p>"That was Tyler's car," he states.</p>
  <p>"Oh, I assumed It was yours," I say.</p>
  <p>"Nah, I have a range rover. It's in the shop. I wouldn't be caught dead in the cheep ass jeep," he says while laughing. The statement brings this weird happiness to me because he would be caught dead in my car, I assume. He did come in it after school with kids walking around.</p>
  <p>I laugh. "There's that King smile," he teases while I pull up in front of his house.</p>
  <p>I put the car in park and turn to face Yusef. "Are we friends?" I ask almost in a begging tone.</p>
  <p>"Yes, and no," he says sadly.</p>
  <p>"I don't know. One minute I just really hate you and the next I just want to talk to you and only you," he says with his voice shaking, almost as if he was afraid to say it.</p>
  <p>"I know the feeling."</p>
  <p>"Like you could ever hate me," he mocks.</p>
  <p>"I can."</p>
  <p>"Sure," he says while leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. I smile at the contact. "Thanks for the ride home. Saved me a trip with Michael, babe. Get home safe," and with that, he's swiftly out my car and up the red brick walkway to his house.</p>
  <p>At this point, I don't understand how I feel about anything since I can't fucking understand myself. There used to be a time where I was so sure of myself, who I was, who I liked and who I was with and who I would become in life. But lately, I knew nothing. Nothing at all. And all these thoughts are slowly started to stick in my mind.</p>
  <p>But as always, instead of dealing with my issues, I pushed everything aside and drove home. Well, not really home. Home is supposed to be where the heart is and right now, that's not where my heart is at all.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I didn't get home that night 'till hours later. It was 8:15 when I walked into my living room to see my mom and Haley dressed in formal attire.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why are you both so fancy looking?" I ask while laughing and leaning down to kiss Haley on the cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're going out to eat to the finest restaurant in Amsterdam," my mother answers while I sit next to Haley. "I picked you out a suite. There's a dress code and you can't go out looking like a mess. You know I hate that style of clothing."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I groan while standing up and heading to my room. "You can't control me, mother! I'm almost 18!" I yell with the slam of my door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mother's always been controlling of me. It's always been that way since I befriended Charlie, and it got worse when dad left for no reason whatsoever. I wonder why he left all the time. One day, he got into a heated argument with my mother and just left. She won't even tell me what it was about and I haven't seen him since June when he decided to walk out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm not mad at him for leaving without a trace at all. If I was with my mother romantically, I would leave sooner or later. My mother is what you can call suffocating, demanding, and needy in a relationship like Haley. Maybe that's why they get along so well. She's better off alone than with my dad who only ever wanted her to be more independent. Something always told me he left for more reasons than those alone, but she hasn't mentioned it nor will she ever. I have my dad's number. I can probably text him to see him whenever I want. But I wouldn't dare go against my mother like that. Besides, I have no idea where he is anyway. Most likely back in California.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lift my shirt off over my head and slide out of my jeans. While folding my clothes, I stare at them with a questionable look. My choice of clothing is just fine, in my opinion. My mother is just rude. I began to grow self conscious as I toss the folded clothes in the hamper.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stare at the clothing laid out in front me. Black tight dress pants, and a white long sleeve button up. My mother somewhat knows me because if those dress pants where baggy on me I would refuse to wear them at all cost and she knows that. Before I could slip my pants on, Haley came in my room unannounced. I try to hide my Calvin Klein boxer briefs with my pants shielding it from her view. She starts to laugh at my attempt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Babe, you're so hot when you're flustered," she says while coming closer to me and dropping my pants to the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Panic begins to ignite in me like a match. She's going to try to come onto me again, and if I push her off or tell her no, she'll know something's up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's gonna be up, King? Obviously not your dick, but why is that, King?" My minds laughs at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nothing is up. I just don't want Haley in that way. I would want anyone but her that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh really, now? Another. girl, perhaps?" My mind continues to have a battle with me. "You sure you wouldn't want a certain brunette to be in Haley's position?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A brunette chick would be nice, I say while nodding my head clearly in denial with myself. Haley places her hand in front of my boxers and it immediately sends me discomfort, causing a whimper to come from my lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not a brunette chick. Yusef. Just pretends it's Yusef's hands and lips, King. You know you'd like it," my mind demands. "Just pretend it's Yusef."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that's exactly what I do. My mind takes over what's going on and I picture Yusef in front of me palming me through my boxers. A moan loudly escapes my mouth. Lips suddenly attach to mine and I grip onto Haley's hair with force. I can feel my length growing hard. Haley slides her hands down my sides and goose bumps form under her touch. Our lips detach, and she hooks her fingers under my boxer briefs. At this point, my length is aching for contact and it's never gotten hard this fast. She slides them off in one swift movement. My length springs up and she wraps her hands around it, pumping furiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're a little dirty boy," she says, looking up at me while pumping. A whimper at the feeling of contact escapes me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without warning, she moved her mouth to my length, licking the tip sucking all the pre-cum that's dripping out. Out of my control, countless moans escape my mouth loudly, but as I was picturing all these action being done to me by Yusef and not Haley, my mind began enjoying it too much. The thought of it actually being Haley slipped my mind when I moaned Yusef's name loudly causing Haley to choke with my length in her mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, my mom began to bang on the door demanding for entrance. Haley frantically stood up from her position in front of me and sat on the edge of the bed. She held an expression unreadable, I couldn't really tell if it was sadness, confusion, anger, or all three.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Give me a second, Mom. I'm almost done getting ready," I say so she can stop banging on the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You getting dressed doesn't involve moans coming from my son. Hurry up, King," my mother says and I can almost see the grin on her face through the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I roll my eyes and slide my boxers back up. I grab my pants from the ground and slide them on as well. Silence fills the once loud room. I don't know what I'm going to say to Haley, but I know this won't end well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sit on the bed next to Vanessa. She passes me my shirt and I began to unbutton it to put it on. There's silence still between us but to my surprise, she breaks it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're gay, King, aren't you," she states rather than asking. I can hear the disgust in her voice and my heart fell. I'm not gay. "You like Yusef, don't you?" She whispers as if afraid of my answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't like Yusef. I don't like him. I can't fucking like him. I love Haley. I'm so fucking confused. I'm so angry all I want to do is punch a wall and cry. I know one thing for sure. I don't fucking like Yusef. I can't like him and I won't. I refuse to let some stupid fucking kid meddle into my life and ruin my relationship with Haley and my mother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I love you," I say as honest as I can, but it sounds forced and I'm not sure if she can tell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why'd you moan his name, then, while I was blowing you? You wish it was him doing it rather than me?!" She half yells, half whispers, "Your mother will never accept you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That's where she's right. My mother will never fucking accept me, not that there's anything to accept. I'm not fucking gay and I have no such feelings for yusef.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The only reason you got hard just right now,King, was because you pictured Yusef doing all these those things to you. Not Haley. She may have been doing them, but you imagined a boy with issues taking you in the mouth and pumping your length. Not Haley. You never get hard with Haley. Never. That isn't normal. It isn't right. It isn't acceptable," My mind states.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shit. Even my fucking mind sounds disgusted with me. I ignore my mind, ignore everything telling me the truth, and I try to convince her I'm telling the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Haley, I love you so much. So much. You're the only one for me," I trail off and begin to cry, not due to the fear of losing her, but because of my false proclaiming of love towards her. "I don't want Yusef. I've told you before I'm not gay nor will I ever be," I state, gaining back the strength in my voice as my crying dies down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"As for the name, I don't know. Yusef's been causing me so much stress lately and this," I pointed between us, "relieved some of that stress which I'm guessing caused me to say his name," I lie confidently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Haley stands up while grabbing my hand. We're standing in front of each other. My button shirt needs one button to be buttoned up. I can see Haley holding in cries.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You've never said you loved me before like that..." she says while buttoning my shirt up for me. "With so much compassion," She trails off while small tears escape her eyes. I graze my thumb on her cheek, wiping away the tears falling upon her cheeks. I said nothing. I couldn't say anything. I just falsely stated my love for her to cover up my whole Yusef sex imagination. I'm vile. I really am a disgusting person after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you," she whispers while buttoning up the last button and quickly pecking my lips. In that moment, I've decided to cut off all things and anything involving Yusef. My life is already shit with my mother and Haley on my back about everything. I don't need him coming into my life, confusing me more than he already has with putting thoughts in my head that can never, ever be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"C'mon, put your shoes on," She says while handing me my white high tops. "Make sure you carry your black blazer with you. Your mom will freak if she at least doesn't see you with it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Blazers aren't my thing," I pout like a child, slipping my high tops on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know, babe. Just hold it in your hand to please her."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why are we going out, anyway? It's Monday night. I have school tomorrow," I whine, taking my coat from Haley and slipping my phone in the pocket. We both exit my room, shutting the door behind us and entering the hallway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's my last night here. She wanted to treat us to a nice meal together. Who knows when's the next time we'll see each other or the next time I'll come visit again. Maybe next time you can come to California?" she questions innocently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, I'm not going back to California," I spit rudely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why? Because of Charlie?" She says angrily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She will never let this gay thing go. I'm not fucking gay and nothing was really going on. Well, nothing I'll ever admit to her about Charlie. Can she get that through her fucking thick ass skull?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My past is there. When I left, I left my shitty ass past and the people involving it there. I refuse to go back and relive everything."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Fine," she scoffs while hitting my shoulder angrily and walking to the living room, searching for my mother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Next time you guys decided to get each other off, can it not be before we're going to a nice dinner?" my mother says as soon as I enter the living room, satisfaction clearly in her voice. What the fuck is everyone thinking I'm going to turn gay? I'm not! Shit. "Sure you aren't," my mind adds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We all walk out the house and into the car. Haley takes the passenger seat next to my mother clearly still angry with me. It's not my fault I don't ever want to go back to California. Unless it's to see my dad. That is if he's still there. I groan at Haley as she slams the car door and I slide into the back. My mother starts the car and begins the drive. Silence fills the car, and I sink back into my seat, shutting my eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Twenty minutes later, the car is stopping in a car lot. We all get out and make our way to the restaurant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No wonder my mother told me to dress in this shit, I think to myself. This place is really fancy. My mom had reservations for 9:30, so we stood outside the quiet restaurant waiting for our party to be called.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In pure boredom, I scan the entire front of the restaurant. For some reason as I looked at the sign displaying the restaurants name, I couldn't help but chuckle and think about that annoying Pretty Little Liars show Haley is always going on about. The restaurant's sign is black and white with a cursive imprinted "-B" as the name. It made me think about whoever the hell is tormenting the poor stupid white girls and how they always sign their messages with "-A." Curiosity grew in me, and I began wondering why the named it "-B." I was snapped out of my thoughts when the man called out, "Arreola party of 3." I wonder when my mom is going to get her last name back, or if she even wants it back to begin with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We walked into the restaurant and were greeted with fancier decor than outside. Crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling every few feet apart and white cloth tables ordered everywhere neatly. A bar with shining glasses and what I assume only the finest liquor in only the most crystal clear bottles stood around it. All the tables seem to surround a huge black cloth stage for live entertainment, I assume. The man leading us through the restaurant asked us if we wanted to sit in the back with the private tables without the bar and live entertainment, but before I could answer, my mom stated she wanted a table with a good view of the live entertainment that would surely be happening soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked at me apologetically as if he knew I didn't want a table by the live entertainment. It was when he looked directly at me that I took in his physical facial appearance. He seemed familiar, like really familiar. As if I've seen him before. He was bold with little brown hair sticking out of his head, slim and tall. But it was something about his face that screamed I've seen him before. I tried to push away the feeling, not wanting to cause anymore trouble for the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"When is live entertainment starting?" my mother asked as they led us to a table directly in front of the stage. I groan in displeasure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Very shortly," he states. "My son is warming up and then he should be up in no time."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have a son? How'd you get him to play here at such a beautiful place?" my mother asks curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It helps when your the owner of the place," the man says with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mother lets out a fake laugh. I don't really understand why until she says what she says next. "You're Mr. Brown? Your family owns the restaurant? What a pleasure it is to meet you." She offers her hand and Mr. Hemmings shakes hers in return. "Your sun must play lovely," she says sarcastically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then suddenly it all clicks in my head. Brown. That's Yusef's last name. This is his dad. No wonder he seems familiar. The night of the party! His bulletin board full of pictures had serval pictures off his dad and him. I totally see the resemblance now. Then, sudden realization hits as to why my mother is being sarcastic. It reminds me what she said to Haley on Sunday about Yusef being openly gay and her thinking he's a disgrace to his wealthy family. I roll my eyes, not wanting to stand with my mother and sit in the table Yusef's dad brought us to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I hope you enjoy your evening here," he says while leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Haley and my mom take their seats on the opposite side from me in the round table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't want you hanging out with that Yusef kid of his," my mother says before she even properly takes her seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why? You can't choose who I'm friends with. Remember Charlie?" I spit back, annoyed with the fact my mother could even think Yusef is a disgrace to his family. She doesn't know him. Who is she to judge him? Him being gay doesn't affect her so why does she get an opinion on his life?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm your mother and you will listen to me. He's a bad influence and you don't need those types of kids who live that kind of lifestyle in your life," she states calmly even though anger is clear in her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean his lifestyle? You don't even know him!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know enough about him."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What could you possibly know about him?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That all he's good for is sucking guys off, King. You don't need those kind of people in your life and I won't let you have those people in your life."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anger boils in me. She's such a fucking homophobe for no reason. She has no reason to hate guys who are gay. What is her problem? She was never like this before, so what's happened? What's changed?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now I know why dad left you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What did you say?" she questions, challenging me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I repeat my statement again while adding something new. "He got tired of being with a judgmental bitch," I state as if I said nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Haley stares at me as if asking me to drop the subject of my father, but I don't want to. No one is perfect. No one can be perfectly straight and normal in this world. My mom needs to know that before she goes judging someone she doesn't know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before my mother could get another word in, a waiter comes towards us asking for drinks and appetizers. Haley and I ask for Sprites while my mother requests wine and garlic bread. She waits 'till the waiter leaves to speak again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You will not speak of your fuck up of a father at all, and you will most certainly not speak to me in that tone of voice," she says while bawling her fist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Whatever," I scoff. The waiter quickly returned with our drinks and bread. He then asks for our entree choices. I ask for a steak and mash potatoes, Haley orders chicken and a baked potato while my mother being the white high class bitch she is asks for a salad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The waiter leaves again with our orders written. Lights around the entire restaurant begin to dim and everyone begins to clap as a young, tall, boy with a wooden guitar, khaki slacks, a white button up, and his black and white converse comes on stage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mom rolled her eyes at the sight of him adjusting his guitar and microphone as he sat on the stool directly in the middle of the stage. Haley gripped my hand when she saw Yusef look up directly at me, into my eyes. He looked confused but then sent me a small smile. yusef had nervous expression written all over his face. The restaurant was packed full of people, but all he could do was look in my direction for reassurance. He almost looked vulnerable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I could sense Haley tense as she saw Yusef stare at me with his small smile. Something told me to comfort her as much as I didn't want to with Yusef looking so vulnerable in front of me, but I had to. I'm her boyfriend. I've already caused so much shit tonight and besides, tonight's her last night with me. I squeezed her hand and whispered I love you to her asYusef's strumming of his guitar became audible to everyone in the restaurant. As he spoke into the microphone, the waiter came to our table with food.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>" Hey. How's everyone doing tonight?" Yusef asks through the microphone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone yelled back with good, including Haley as she smiled at me, all her doubts obviously fading. My mom, on the other hand, was still being a complete bitch and as she rolled her eyes at the sound of Yusef and mumbled under her breath, I thought to myself, what a fucking child.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good, good. I know it's a school night and I usually play here on the weekends for you guys, but I have a tune I wanted you all to hear before I tested it out to my friends," he spoke calmly while staring down at his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wrote it myself. I'm usually not good with feelings."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone from the side of the room shouted, "Yusef finally getting serious about a boy? Is this song about him? Aww!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yusef chucked and spoke, "I love you, Nick. And no. Me? Never," he says nervously into the mic. "Well, sort of."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole restaurant aww'd him. This being a family restaurant, maybe they had the same customers. That's why Yusef was being so open with the audience right now despite how nervous he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mother and Haley began eating their meals as my attention was fixated on Yusef.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Without further ado, this is [REDACTED]," he says nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clears his throat and begins strumming before singing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>[Incert love song here]</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole time, Yusef's eyes were locked with mine. I felt all jittery and warm inside. That song was beautiful. It had so much meaning. Such meaning of love and I didn't think Yusef was able to even comprehend even the thought of love. My eyes stared directly into his the entire time. Thank God Haley and my mom were too into their food to care aboutYusef's performance to even notice the intense stare we both shared throughout that whole entire thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Yusef strummed the last string, everyone stood up and clapped. Even I let go of Haley's hand on my lap to clap my hands together. That was really amazing. It showed so much compassion, such a vulnerable side that I wasn't sure Yusef could even have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the clapping died down, Yusef talked into the microphone. "Thank you, guys. Enjoy the rest of your meals." Before he walked off stage, he shot me one last smile and I sent him a huge grin back, still clapping. He walked off stage and the lights all around the restaurant came back on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Eat your food, King," my mom says while snapping me out off my happy stare in Yusef's direction. He ran up to his dad on the other side of the restaurant, hugging him lovingly. He whispered something into his ear and his father looked at me lovingly, shooting me the smile until Yusef slapped him on his shoulder with blush obvious on his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I brought my attention back to my food with a smile on my face. Haley was so into her food that if I accidentally put a penny on her plate, she'd eat it thinking it was a piece of chicken. I began to eat as my mind replayed Yusef's performance in my head. It was so unexplainable. It was just beautiful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought you were cutting him off completely," my mind mocked me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I am. After tonight, there will be no such thing as Yusef Brown. "Yeah, right," my mind spat back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~~~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are we all ready to go?" my mom asked as she put the respected amount of money onto the table, covering the bill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Haley and I said in unison "Before we go, I want a picture with King by the beautiful chandlier. Mind taking it?" she asked my mom. She nodded and I grabbed Haley by the waist roughly causing her to laugh and me to smile in the direction of the camera. My mom snapped the picture and it actually came out beautifully. Haley started at it in awe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much, King," she says lovingly as we make our way out the hotel. "Mind if I put it on Instagram? I would love to show my sexy boyfriend off," she asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Go ahead, my love," I say while kissing her check.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still holding her by the waist, we make are way through the restaurant past the bar.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We were almost out until my mother bumped in Yusef's dad again, but instead of stopping her, he stopped me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hi, King. I'm Yusef's dad," he says kindly. "It's nice to finally meet the guy my son can never shut up about at the dinner table!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yusef talks about me? To his parents? A lot? A blush creeps on my cheeks. "It's nice to meet you, too," I say while going to shake his hand. Instead he pulls me into a hug, but slowly pulls away once he realized I have my arm around Haley's waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, it was nice meeting you," his father says as his sudden happy appearance faded as he stares at my arm on Haley's waist. I began to feel bad, self-conscious, and I release my hold on Haley completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We turned around and exited the door to leave. But before I left through the door, I heard Yusef's voice in a whisper scolding his dad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What did you say to him?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nothing, son. Calm down. This boy must be really important to you if you get upset if your old man just says hi."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yusef's voice shakes, "He's not important."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mhmm. Sure he isn't," his dad says, mocking his son's tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He isn't." His voice cracks again, demonstrating he's clearly lying. Before I can hear anything else of their conversation, we're out the door and into the car lot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're never going there again," my mom states as she enters the car and slams the door behind her. "That son of theirs is a disgrace to the family. Have some nerve singing a song about some guy he's probably gonna fuck and dump," my mom slurs on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Haley enters the car in the back seat with me holding my hand knowing my anger level is high. She squeezed my hand telling me to just ignore her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought it sounded beautiful. It was really sweet in my honest opinion," Haley says to put my mom's words at ease.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"His words mean nothing. Just another scam to get him what he wants."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mom, shut the fuck up!" I yell in the car angrier than I've ever been.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mom seems angry and frightened at the same time. She grips the steering wheel, holding back her words while she starts the car and pulls out the car lot heading home for the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning rolled around. I groaned at the sight of the sun seeping in through the window of my room. As I went to get up, Haley pulled me back down in the bed. I hit it with a loud thump resulting in a giggle to escape her mouth.</p><p>"Skip school, babe. Please," she pleads while wrapping her arms around me, securing me back on the bed by her side.</p><p>"My mom won't like that. Plus, I need to go to school. I have honors everything and can't fall behind," I whisper in her ear.</p><p>"Please?."</p><p>"No. I'm sorry, babe. You know school's somewhat important to me."</p><p>"Damn you for being smart. I blame your father. You obviously got your brains from him," she says sadly while laughing.</p><p>"Yeah," I say sadly.</p><p>"You miss him, don't you?" she asks quietly as if not wanting my mother to hear our conversation even though I doubt she's awake at this torturous hour.</p><p>"I do. A lot," I trail off.</p><p>"We've never talked about what happened or how you're taking it," she says, pulling the blanket over us and holding me tighter for reassurance.</p><p>Truth is, I don't wanna talk to her about it. Not just to her, but to anyone about the matter. I don't want people to know my dad left me because of my bitch of a mother. They had an argument, and he was gone the next day. She never spoke about it from that day on. There are so many questions that fill my head about what happened, but I'll never get answers. There is no point in asking my mother anyway and she's my only source for answers. All she'll ever say is how she doesn't want me to end up like him, a fucked up abomination of a man. And if I ask her about what happened, she'll always respond with how it's none of my concern or he's gone, and we don't need his fucked up ass back again. The usual things.</p><p>But I want him back. I need him back. He's my dad. Every boy needs their dad (haha) and now with everything going on lately, I feel like I need him more than ever. He's the only one who can help me, and try to understand me. He understood me, never judged me even with all the bad things I've done in the past, and he was always the better parent. He was the one I favored, the one that could provide the sense of family, forgiveness, comfort while still being an asshole, sometimes playing the parental role. I just miss him, that's all. I don't know when and if I'll ever see him again. I don't even know where he is. I just hope he's fine. I just hope he still cares about his son just as he did before he left.</p><p>"There's not much to say," I say, wrapped in the tragic thought of my father not loving and caring for me anymore.</p><p>"Your dad loves you. You're his only kid and he's always loved you more than your mother. Everyone could see it. He'll come back eventually. You know he will," she says almost answering my thoughts.</p><p>I pull her closer to my chest for comfort and bury my head in her long hair.</p><p>What if he didn't love me? (haha) He picked up everything and left. Left me behind with my mother, of all people, knowing we never got along to some extent.</p><p>"I know he does," I say with hope.</p><p>"He does," she confirms.</p><p>"I have to go to school, babe." She groans while clutching onto me tighter. "I'll leave early so we can spend the day together before you leave. How does that sound?"</p><p>"Amazing," she says gratefully while kissing my lips. I get up and place the blanket over her gently. Within the next 10 minutes, I'm dressed, groomed, and brushed heading out the door.</p><p>As I go to lock the door, my phone buzzes serval times. I groan and wonder out loud what the fuck does Haley already want. I haven't even left the house yet. I walk to my car, put the key in the ignition and check my text messages.</p><p>3 messages from Yusef. My fingers ghost over the message, debating whether to tap and read them or to delete them without a trace of evidence that I even saw them.</p><p>"I thought we were done with Yusef? Whatever happened to not wanting to make your life difficult? What about The Dwarf? Your reputation within your family will be ruined, King. Don't act on these feelings. You're just unsure of yourself. Don't go down this road again. Don't do this to yourself again!" My mind demands trying to knock some sense into me.</p><p>My heart goes against my mind and decided to read the text messages. I instantly regret my decision when I read their contents. I need to keep my distance from him, but I can't even seem to do that.</p><p>Yusef; Babe, pick me up? No car still :(</p><p>Yusef; you don't have to if you don't want to though.</p><p>Yusef; if not I'll just hitch a ride with Tyler I guess...</p><p>He's not getting a ride from Tyler. Tyler will most likely take him in the backseat of his ugly ass Jeep and the thought brings me pure disgust. Tyler and Yusef, Yusef and Tyler. It doesn't even sound good, I scoff to myself while replying.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll pick you up. I'm on my way."</p><p>"Why do you even care about him and Tyler? What if he's happy with just fucking Tyler? Maybe he enjoys it more than even being in your company," my mind retorts, obviously bringing up an insecure spot with me.</p><p>I slump down in my seat. I don't care. I don't fucking care. He can fuck the whole football team and I still wouldn't give a damn, I try to convince myself.</p><p>I begin my journey to Yusef's house, still feeling a bit down about what's going on in my mind. Why do I have to think like this? I always put myself in a bad mood. Yusef likes my company. He has to because he's somewhat around me all the time.</p><p>"You guys are hardly ever seen together. He wouldn't be caught dead with you in public or even around his family for shit's sake, King."</p><p>That's not true. I met his dad last night. He seemed happy to see me after the live performance, and he said Yusef could never stop talking about me.</p><p>"It was all bad things," my mind says, killing me of all hope.</p><p>Then suddenly, last night replayed through my head. Only the good parts. Yusef's beautiful singing filling my mind as I drive into his street. Fancy house after fancy house. With that restaurant his family owns, I'm not surprised they live on this side of the neighborhood. My thoughts go back to his performance yesterday. Him sharing a kindful, intent stare with me the whole time while singing. Almost as if he was singing it for me.</p><p>"He wasn't. It was for Tyler. He did say he wanted their opinion of it before letting his boys listen to it. His boys." My minds laughs, "Maybe Yusef doesn't just only have Tyler wrapped around his finger. Just take you for example. You're almost wrapped while he's still messing with Tyler."</p><p>No. I'm not wrapped around anyone's damn finger and I swear I will erase all knowing memory of Yusef Brpwn, but just the thought of doing that sends me in a depressed state of mind. I don't want him to be fully gone from my life. I just don't want to be anything more than friends. I can't go down this path again. Especially with a guy like Yusef. I have Haley. That's all I need, and I need to make my point clear to Yusef.</p><p>As I park the car in front of his house, my phone begins to buzz again and text messages appear on the screen.</p><p>Yusef; Are you here? My brothers are bugging me.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm outside parked," I reply with.</p><p>Minutes later, I see Yusef walk up to my car in the tightest black jeans I've ever seen on a teenager with a black nirvana tee. His jeans show off his long, thin legs and complement his ass nicely.</p><p>"King, stop you fucking dumbass," my minds says.</p><p>Yusef comes closer to the car, whipping the door open and sliding in the passenger seat beside me.</p><p>"You know I find guys who drive convertibles really hot?"</p><p>Heat rises to my cheeks while he begins to laugh at my reaction.</p><p>"Do you only like me for my car?" I say as a comeback, surprising myself.</p><p>He laughs and leans over to my seat. He brings his lips to my ear. "Not the only reason," he says with his voice full of rasp while he slides his hand up my shirt and draws imaginary figures into my chest. A moan escapes my mouth before I can stop myself and I can already feel myself grow hard with the sound of his voice and a small, simple touch.</p><p>"King, liking guys isn't right. What you're doing right now, what you're enjoying right now, it isn't right!" my mind snaps at me. I'm not gay, and I'm not enjoying this. This is him coming onto me. I fight back, trying to ignore all the moans wanting to escape my lips. I will never be this way.</p><p>"Don't, Yusef," I say while gently tugging him away.</p><p>"You're really hot, too," he adds while taking his hand from my shirt and slipping back into the passenger seat. "You're also very attractive when you moan and have hard-ons," he says nonchalantly.</p><p>Me being too flustered to speak, I mentally scold myself for letting things go this far.</p><p>"I give you those hard-ons, don't I? I bet Haley never gets you as flustered as I do," he says proudly with a little disgust at the mention of Haley. I say nothing, scared on how my voice will come out.</p><p>"C'mon, admit it, babe."</p><p>"You're so confusing and stop calling me babe. I'm not your babe," I spit out, but my voice cracks at the end showing him how really flustered I am.</p><p>"You like it," he says with a big grin on his face.</p><p>"No, I don't," I roll my eyes at him. "I have Haley. She gives me hard-ons."</p><p>"You're lying," he says while reaching over the seat again, this time resting his hand on my now visible bulge. I'm so weak, I think to myself. So weak for him, my mind throws in my face.</p><p>As soon as his hand touches my bulge, my eyes close shut and a moan escapes my lips.</p><p>"Yusef..." I try to say but a moan stops, causing me to moan his name.</p><p>"Yes, babe?" he says innocently like he's not palming me through my pants right now.</p><p>Shutting out my mind's yells to get him away from me, I let Yusef do away with me.</p><p>"You're so hot, Cal. I'd take you right now if I could." I moan at his dirty words while his palming gets more violent and rapid.</p><p>"Sometimes, I look at you from the corner of my eye in Math and imagine bending you over your desk and taking you right there. Would you like that, baby?" he whispers into my ear.</p><p>I moan again rather loudly and bite my lip just at the thought of being bent over for him.</p><p>Me being the weakest person I can be with Yusef, I nod in response. I can almost feel the wide grin on his face but in this moment, I don't even care.</p><p>He comes fully across the seat and straddles me. His bum firmly on my hard-on, grinding away, makes me bite my lip harder. God, I don't even care if this is a bad thing right now. I don't even care that I shouldn't be doing this with him, a guy. All I care about is him and how much I want him in this moment right now.</p><p>Being way too flustered and turned on, I manage to speak. "You're such a fucking tease, Yusef."</p><p>"You love it. Your dick says so," he says while laughing.</p><p>"Kiss me?" I ask him, more like beg him. I miss the feeling of his soft lips on mine, the beautiful sensation that courses through me when we kiss. Nothing I've ever experienced with Haley.</p><p>He seems shocked at my demand. And even I'm a little shocked. I wouldn't have ever admit that I've desperately missed his lips. Well not to him, not to anyone. Not even myself.</p><p>"Are you sure?" he asks reluctantly, hesitance clearly on his face, but with thoughtfulness added as well.</p><p>"Yes," I say seriously while trying to ignore my aching friend.</p><p>Yusef places his lips on mine and slowly kisses me. Our lips move in sync with each other. The feeling of his soft, gentle lips bring me happiness as he moves his hands to cup my cheeks.</p><p>Suddenly, before I can swipe my tongue across his bottom lip to beg for entrance and make the kiss deeper, we both hear a loud bang on my car window.</p><p>Yusef removes his lips from mine and smiles a small smile while trying to hide his blush, and then brings his attention to whoever disrupted us while still straddling me.</p><p>He glances at the window and pushes the button on my side to lower the window.</p><p>"Do you mind?" he says annoyed to the older boy who seems to be smirking by the window.</p><p>"Yes, I do actually. I don't want to see my brother fuck some guy in his car..." he trails off. Sudden realization hits him once he stares at me. "Is this King?" he asks, his grin growing wider.</p><p>"We weren't going to fuck," Yusef says softly and my expression grows a little sad seeing that I actually really wanted to with him. Then, my mind creeps his way back into my thought stream. Fuck, I groan to myself. I didn't need my mind coming in right now causing me to doubt myself.</p><p>"Were you really gonna fuck him, King? Let him take your virginity? That isn't right. You're supposed to lose it with a girl. Haley. Not a guy who could give a fuck less, like Yusef," my mind retorts and in some way is right, but I don't act on my sudden reluctant feelings just yet. The feeling of Yusef straddling my lap and his hands in my hair bringing me sudden happiness and comfort.</p><p>I try to join in the conversation. "Yeah, I'm King," I say while sending a small smile. Yusef's smile seems to brighten at the sight of mine which makes me happy, but then I wonder how long we're going to last acting this way. Yusef is a grenade full of bipolar emotions. He can act one way this minute and a completely different way the next.</p><p>"Sorry to interrupt your fucking, but you both need to get to school. It's almost 8," he says while leaving, "And the next time you guys wanna be kinky and fuck in a car, at least make sure the windows are tinted and the car is soundproof," he laughs off and continues. "Yusef. Yusef." he says while moaning, "KISS ME KISS ME!" My face grows red. "Are you sur-" Before he can go on, he's cut off by Yusef lifting the window. He laughs and heads to his car.</p><p>I bury my face into Yusef's chest, too embarrassed to face him or my mind right now.</p><p>"I'm sorry. He can be a bit much," Yusef says kindly.</p><p>"Your brother, I assume?" I say in a low tone while still buried into his chest.</p><p>He kisses my head and removes himself from me and takes his former seat next to me. His actions make my bulge fully viewable through my black jeans.</p><p>"Someone enjoyed me a little too much," he says kindly while laughing.</p><p>"Shut up, you tease."</p><p>"Does your hard-on ache for me, babe?" he says seductively while bitting his lip. I have this tingly feeling like I really need to cum, but it's just not happening. "Do you ever picture me taking you in the mouth?"</p><p>I nod while biting my lips, thinking about the whole situation with Haley last night.</p><p>He brings his ears to my lips, obviously pleased with my answer and gives me almost like an okay. "Cum then, babe. Cum for me." And as the words are spoken, I feel myself release in my pants.</p><p>He kisses my cheek and sits back in his seat pleased with himself, probably because of the fact that if he wanted to, he could make me hard and come just by his words. No one's ever done that to me before or has even had that strong of an effect on me.</p><p>"You know being gay is okay..." he says, trailing off as I begin our drive to school.</p><p>"No, it isn't. It's disgusting," my mind speaks for me. I can almost see his face fall through the corner of my eye and asshole Yusef coming back for an appearance.</p><p>"You make yourself out to be a hypocrite," he states. "Why are you in denial about it?"</p><p>"You don't understand what I think. How I feel. So don't try to," I say, anger clear in my voice.</p><p>"I wasn't trying to."</p><p>"Yes, you were. You're trying to piece me together in your head to make sense of this, make sense of me."</p><p>"Don't act as if you're not trying to piece me together, too, King. You've been intrigued with me since you got here. Trying to figure it out, figure me out. But you won't. I'm too fucked up to ever be figured out and you wouldn't want to, anyway," he says still emotionless.</p><p>I stay quiet knowing he's right. I have been trying to piece him together. I crave to know why he acts so bipolar. I've been infatuated since I got here and I can't help but feel this somewhat magnetic pull to him.</p><p>"You're only fooling yourself when you say you aren't gay. Using Haley to make your straight feelings seem real when they're not. You aren't. You're no straighter than me and you know it. So don't give me this bullshit that being gay is disgusting or horrible when you're just a close-minded selfish little prick who's afraid of disappointing everyone."</p><p>His words set in deeply. Instead of showing no emotion, I start to cry mentally cursing at myself for letting his words break me.</p><p>"You're such an asshole," I state.</p><p>"Sometimes the truth hurts, but we all need to hear it once in a while," he says, his voice suddenly softening.</p><p>"I'm not gay. I can't be. Yusef, you don't understand how much I can't be. I don't even understand how much I can't be," I say, tears streaming down my face while I grip tightly on the steering wheel.</p><p>"Some things just take time to accept. I'm sorry for saying all those things. Sometimes when I'm angry, things come out worse than what I intended them to," he says while reaching over and wiping my tears away.</p><p>"Don't touch me!" I yell and he moves his hands away from me, growing angry once more.</p><p>"I'm not gay. I'm not in any kind of denial state. I love Haley more than I have ever loved anything," I say, trying to convince him so he can just drop it and I can go back to my thoughts being secluded and only to myself.</p><p>I pull up into the back of the parking lot of school and park the furthest from the school as possible.</p><p>"You're lying to yourself. You know that, right?" He says with clenched fists.</p><p>Is he going to hit me? My mind assumes as his fists clench harder together.</p><p>"I'm not. I will never be gay, be a part of that lifestyle. And even if I was, we would never work out, Yusef. You're a fucking douchebag half the time. You fuck different people whenever you want. I bet you've never kept a solid relationship before and you come on to everything with a dick. You can never genuinely care about someone or even be in a strong, long-term relationship," my mind says for me. It's not like it isn't true. It is. Yusef isn't the type of person I would see myself with even if I was gay.</p><p>"So you genuinely care about Haley, huh? You have such a strong relationship with her that you would cheat on her multiple times? With a guy when you're not even gay, supposedly?" he says, judgment strong in his voice.</p><p>"They were mistakes. All of them. Heat of the moment decisions. They meant nothing," I say coldly. My heart fell at my own words because they all did mean something to me in some way. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it and I hated myself for it.</p><p>"You're a load of shit, King," he spits out, his words cutting deep into my heart.</p><p>"You know what sucks? The fact that maybe I can't keep a solid, long-term relationship. So what if all I do is fuck different guys every night? At least I'm not lying to myself. At least I'm not lying to everyone around me. I know who I am, and at least I'm honest about it..." He trails off, "You know what sucks about all of this bullshit, King? That within just a few amount of days, you've grown on me. More ways than one. I thought you were different. You know what hurts the most? That I actually fucking genuinely care about you, but hey, that doesn't matter!" he yells while opening the car door.</p><p>"I hope you fucking have fun for the rest of your life with your slutty ass girlfriend who probably fucked your best friend down the line because you couldn't give her what she wanted!" he yells even louder. "You know why you couldn't give it to her? Because you're fucking gay, King." He slams the car door and heads to school.</p><p>I watch him intently as he goes up to school grounds. I see him approach Tyler, push him inside the school, God knows where to or for what, but I have my hunches and I suddenly begin to cry in my car hating myself, thinking about all the possible things the two could be doing.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>